A father's letter to his son
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Shamsher Chowdhury
YOU left Bangladesh, as far as I can recollect, sometime in April 1989. You were then a young man of 22. For days and years since you left home your mother and I passed our days in anxiety driven by some unknown fear and uncertainty, thinking as to how you were coping with that vast and complex land of multicultural environment. Then, when several years thereafter your mother and I went to Texas to attend the Graduation Ceremony of your sister at San Angelo State University, there at the Airport as some one was pushing my wheel chair towards the entrance of the Airport's arrival lounge, I suddenly saw you waving hands at me with a broad grin in your face. For quite some time I kept on gazing at you when we finally embraced each other I realised that I am locked in embrace with a tall, stout young man now 36 years of age. Back in the wheel chair when you were pushing it I looked at you a couple of times and smiled, thinking as to where to begin. Finally the silence was broken with you taking the lead. Those few minutes of silence still haunt me. I felt so much was exchanged between the two of us that could have been written in volumes.
Son, your mother just corrected me by pointing out that you are now 41 and not 40. I marveled to see as to how well you dealt with your life these 17/18 years. I wish I had steered my life in as good a manner as you have done. It is heartening to see that to this day you have lived your life with utmost honesty and pure courage. Your mother and I are proud to see you continue to earn your living through honest means and hard labour. You never lost your focus or deviated from hardcore principles even under duress and difficult times, verily the sign of a man of high moral character and a man of substance.
I must admit when I look back now I see the umpteen mistakes I made in my dealings with you. Although I strongly believed then that, it was the right thing to do at that time. I am glad to see that you too finally see and understand matters better and do have a better perspective of all that transpired between a father and a son. May Allah bless you for that?
All my extended family both here and those living in the States have nothing but praise for you. Son you stood the test of time well and I am proud of you. I am proud of you when I hear of your generosity and kindness to others.
Son, when you came home in the winter of 2008 after long 17 years we were overjoyed. One night at some point of our conversation I asked about the possibility of your returning home. After a deep breath and nearly a minute's silence you told me that would not be possible. I asked why? To this day I clearly remember what you had said in replay, "You see father I love my homeland as much as you do. I am ready to withstand its harsh climate, the grueling heat of the summer season, the acute indiscipline on the streets, the extreme pollution all that and more but what I would not be able to cope with is the moral and ethical degradation of the people of my generation. Besides I shall not be able to live side by side with people, most whom indulge in lies. Hardly any one understands the meaning of commitment. A large section of the people is engaged in petty jealousies. Our politicians are continually engaged in petty squabbles and at each other's throats, interests of the nation, to them are secondary."
Son, today I have all the more respect for you for the observations you made some two and a half years ago. Trust me the situation is by far the worst now. The downward swing of our morality is at its lowest rung. The ruling party is becoming ever more reckless and is out to throttle the opposition through all sorts of intimidation and coercive tactics. The poor and the common man are at their wit's end. The state of the education and our learning centers are totally desecrated and vandalised.
Son, be of good cheer, come and visit us whenever you can. When the time comes, rest assured we shall not despair. Your mother and I have lived a good life. I for one got more out of life than I had hoped for. We are almost certain in life you will progressively do better and better.
Son, remember wherever you may be Bangladesh is your "home" and you are a Bangladeshi first and last.
Son, I have come to the concluding part of the letter. One last thing but not least in importance, it is about religion. Remember the Almighty every step of your life. We all come from HIM and to HIM we shall return. Forgive me if I have been overbearing.
May Allah in His infinite mercy look after you.
Affectionately yours,
Your father
YOU left Bangladesh, as far as I can recollect, sometime in April 1989. You were then a young man of 22. For days and years since you left home your mother and I passed our days in anxiety driven by some unknown fear and uncertainty, thinking as to how you were coping with that vast and complex land of multicultural environment. Then, when several years thereafter your mother and I went to Texas to attend the Graduation Ceremony of your sister at San Angelo State University, there at the Airport as some one was pushing my wheel chair towards the entrance of the Airport's arrival lounge, I suddenly saw you waving hands at me with a broad grin in your face. For quite some time I kept on gazing at you when we finally embraced each other I realised that I am locked in embrace with a tall, stout young man now 36 years of age. Back in the wheel chair when you were pushing it I looked at you a couple of times and smiled, thinking as to where to begin. Finally the silence was broken with you taking the lead. Those few minutes of silence still haunt me. I felt so much was exchanged between the two of us that could have been written in volumes.
Son, your mother just corrected me by pointing out that you are now 41 and not 40. I marveled to see as to how well you dealt with your life these 17/18 years. I wish I had steered my life in as good a manner as you have done. It is heartening to see that to this day you have lived your life with utmost honesty and pure courage. Your mother and I are proud to see you continue to earn your living through honest means and hard labour. You never lost your focus or deviated from hardcore principles even under duress and difficult times, verily the sign of a man of high moral character and a man of substance.
I must admit when I look back now I see the umpteen mistakes I made in my dealings with you. Although I strongly believed then that, it was the right thing to do at that time. I am glad to see that you too finally see and understand matters better and do have a better perspective of all that transpired between a father and a son. May Allah bless you for that?
All my extended family both here and those living in the States have nothing but praise for you. Son you stood the test of time well and I am proud of you. I am proud of you when I hear of your generosity and kindness to others.
Son, when you came home in the winter of 2008 after long 17 years we were overjoyed. One night at some point of our conversation I asked about the possibility of your returning home. After a deep breath and nearly a minute's silence you told me that would not be possible. I asked why? To this day I clearly remember what you had said in replay, "You see father I love my homeland as much as you do. I am ready to withstand its harsh climate, the grueling heat of the summer season, the acute indiscipline on the streets, the extreme pollution all that and more but what I would not be able to cope with is the moral and ethical degradation of the people of my generation. Besides I shall not be able to live side by side with people, most whom indulge in lies. Hardly any one understands the meaning of commitment. A large section of the people is engaged in petty jealousies. Our politicians are continually engaged in petty squabbles and at each other's throats, interests of the nation, to them are secondary."
Son, today I have all the more respect for you for the observations you made some two and a half years ago. Trust me the situation is by far the worst now. The downward swing of our morality is at its lowest rung. The ruling party is becoming ever more reckless and is out to throttle the opposition through all sorts of intimidation and coercive tactics. The poor and the common man are at their wit's end. The state of the education and our learning centers are totally desecrated and vandalised.
Son, be of good cheer, come and visit us whenever you can. When the time comes, rest assured we shall not despair. Your mother and I have lived a good life. I for one got more out of life than I had hoped for. We are almost certain in life you will progressively do better and better.
Son, remember wherever you may be Bangladesh is your "home" and you are a Bangladeshi first and last.
Son, I have come to the concluding part of the letter. One last thing but not least in importance, it is about religion. Remember the Almighty every step of your life. We all come from HIM and to HIM we shall return. Forgive me if I have been overbearing.
May Allah in His infinite mercy look after you.
Affectionately yours,
Your father