Defeat with grace and victory with humility
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Maswood Alam Khan
IN future there may be two general knowledge quizzes in our school textbooks: "Who was the first leader in Bangladesh who accepted his or her victory with humility? And "Who was the first leader in Bangladesh who accepted his or her defeat with grace?" Any or both the names of our two prominent leaders---Begum Khaleda Zia and Sheikh Hasina Wazid---may be the answer to either of these two quizzes, if only our political leaders have a thirst to enter history on the eve of the New Year 2009!
Bangladeshis are going to cast their votes on December 29 (Monday) to elect their representatives as lawmakers for the country's ninth parliament. About 1500 candidates are now claiming themselves as leaders of our nation and will humbly solicit support from more than 81 million voters; of whom a little more than 50 per cent are females and 31 per cent are young. Among the eligible voters a few millions will be casting their votes for the first time in their life.
Out of 1500 candidates, 1200 will have to embrace defeat and 300 (to be exact, 299 now and election for one seat to be held next month) will be crowned with victory. Out of 81 million voters many millions will be elated at the election results and the rest will feel utterly desolate. A game between two sets of people will be over at eight in the evening on Monday.
The next morning two states of mind---a state of euphoria and a state of shock---will prevail among people of Bangladesh. Those who will be victorious will be celebrating their achievements with all the pomp and those who will be defeated will remain sunken in gloom for several days.
The media will be publishing and airing election results in graphical representations with analyses from different points of view. There will be arguments for and against the analyses. There will be bitter accusations against those who misled voters or negatively influenced the election results through deceits.
But there will be not a single item of news in any media---I am pretty sure---on what a heavy toll this election would be taking on the health of our populace. Nobody will ever know how many people, who would fail to adjust with their unexpected results, would die of cardiac failure or become terminally sick in the aftermath of the election.
A man after a frenzy of excitements becomes too weak to withstand a failure when he has to give up the chase for victory; he in the process curtails his life longevity if he was too obsessed with the race. The man who snatches victory equally curtails the length of his age if he does not know the art of controlling excessive euphoria by wrapping his elation with a cover of humility. Arrogance fuelled by hubris corrodes life.
We will be doing justice to our health if we, after an election or a game, immediately and enthusiastically shake our opponent's hand and say something nice, avoid making excuses for our loss. There are many reasons for outcome; it is better to direct focus on our opponent's strengths that day rather than on our own shortcomings. We should reinterpret a loss as a free lesson rather than failure.
Novelist Margaret Halsey said: "In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated."
A refusal to be defeated does not necessarily mean a refusal to admit making a mistake or losing a battle. It can mean working hard to direct the blame toward someone else rather than to oneself.
Only when we admit (at least to ourselves) that we have gone dreadfully wrong, made a bad mistake or clearly picked the wrong choice can we assess when the problem began and learn from it so that the problem will not happen again.
Much of life is wasted by people who insist upon refusing to admit that they have made a mistake. They spend a huge amount of time, effort and money gathering evidence to show that they did not make a mistake. Later in their lives they often find themselves in a dead end. It's a dead end they built for themselves.
Defeat is not a bad thing if we use it as a stepping stone to gain experience and wisdom. There are certain potential advantages to losing and some unexpected blessings that may come by way of defeat, especially given a sufficiently attentive social environment. It may require a stunning failure or defeat in one area of one's life to enable him to turn his attention to some other area that will have more enduring interest and appeal.
American author William Arthur Ward said: "To bear defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to receive honors with humility---these are marks of maturity and graciousness."
We live our lives, we wear out, we croak. We sink into oblivion with our departure from this world. People remember us for at best a day or two after we pass away. In spite of ourselves we cannot live longer than we are destined to. Ageing and then death is as inevitable as sunrise and then sunset. We are normal mortals.
But among us there are people who are immortals. They stand taller and see farther than the rest. They dedicate their life to occupy a place among the immortals gloriously registered in the pages of history. Their immortality is attributed to their extraordinary ability in achieving feats ordinary 'we' cannot afford. They are the heroes. They are the visionaries. They are our leaders. We vote for them.
A leader is one who leads his or her followers. A leader is one who leaves examples for future leaders to replicate. A leader is one who leaves behind memorable statements.
A refreshing change will be represented in our politics if any of our major political leaders in the morning of 30th December declares: "We accept the results with an open heart and will sit on the opposition benches."
Such a declaration would herald a huge shift from the past when in previous elections the losing party has usually leveled bitter accusations of poll-rigging and outside interference to explain their defeat.
And the leader who would be victorious in this election would register her name on a page of our history if she blends a little tinge of humility in her victory speech: "My dear countrymen! Listen to me, please. The leader who is going to sit on the opposition bench of our parliament is more virtuous than me in many fields and we have many a lesson to learn from her varied experiences. We need her as a copilot for our journey ahead."
If there were an essay contest to make a draft concession speech for our future opposition leader, I wish I could pen the following lines:
"Our people have made their choice and have selected Mrs. X and her XYZ party as the instruments to fulfill their will for the next five years. The people have given their verdict, and I gladly honor it. The majority of our people have rallied behind Mrs. X and her party. People have firmly believed her promises. Her qualities have now to be exclusively invested in leading us.
"From the core of my heart I pay my gratitude to all my party supporters who campaigned day and night to see us victorious. Now I earnestly urge them all to give Mrs. Y all the support she will need to carry out the heavy tasks that lie before her. I hereby guarantee my wholehearted support to her and give her my and my party's unalloyed assurance that under no circumstances we will allow the growth of our nation to retard. We will not call "HARTAL". What instead we will do is watch her from the opposition bench of our sacred parliament not necessarily to only oppose her but also to wake her up if she ever unmindfully sleeps on her commitments she had pledged to our nation.
We have to remain vigilantly united for attaining what our valiant freedom fighters had dreamt about. The dream of our freedom fighters that united us as Bangladeshi citizens is far greater than the election contest that has divided us as political parties. We were not enemies, we were mere opponents. We vote as many, but we dream as one. With faith in democracy we will move forward to reach our cherished goal of a prosperous Bangladesh. May Allah guide us all!"
If any of our leaders exhibits such magnanimity in accepting her defeat her name will be engraved in history books in bold letters made of gold with platinum rims!
On hearing such an emotive speech from one of our illustrious leaders conceding defeat with such a grace many of us will be feeling our hearts pounding our chests and the majority of our people will be making their minds to elect her as the next prime minister, if the next party in power fails to deliver what they have promised.
The writer is a banker. He may be reached at maswood@hotmail.com
IN future there may be two general knowledge quizzes in our school textbooks: "Who was the first leader in Bangladesh who accepted his or her victory with humility? And "Who was the first leader in Bangladesh who accepted his or her defeat with grace?" Any or both the names of our two prominent leaders---Begum Khaleda Zia and Sheikh Hasina Wazid---may be the answer to either of these two quizzes, if only our political leaders have a thirst to enter history on the eve of the New Year 2009!
Bangladeshis are going to cast their votes on December 29 (Monday) to elect their representatives as lawmakers for the country's ninth parliament. About 1500 candidates are now claiming themselves as leaders of our nation and will humbly solicit support from more than 81 million voters; of whom a little more than 50 per cent are females and 31 per cent are young. Among the eligible voters a few millions will be casting their votes for the first time in their life.
Out of 1500 candidates, 1200 will have to embrace defeat and 300 (to be exact, 299 now and election for one seat to be held next month) will be crowned with victory. Out of 81 million voters many millions will be elated at the election results and the rest will feel utterly desolate. A game between two sets of people will be over at eight in the evening on Monday.
The next morning two states of mind---a state of euphoria and a state of shock---will prevail among people of Bangladesh. Those who will be victorious will be celebrating their achievements with all the pomp and those who will be defeated will remain sunken in gloom for several days.
The media will be publishing and airing election results in graphical representations with analyses from different points of view. There will be arguments for and against the analyses. There will be bitter accusations against those who misled voters or negatively influenced the election results through deceits.
But there will be not a single item of news in any media---I am pretty sure---on what a heavy toll this election would be taking on the health of our populace. Nobody will ever know how many people, who would fail to adjust with their unexpected results, would die of cardiac failure or become terminally sick in the aftermath of the election.
A man after a frenzy of excitements becomes too weak to withstand a failure when he has to give up the chase for victory; he in the process curtails his life longevity if he was too obsessed with the race. The man who snatches victory equally curtails the length of his age if he does not know the art of controlling excessive euphoria by wrapping his elation with a cover of humility. Arrogance fuelled by hubris corrodes life.
We will be doing justice to our health if we, after an election or a game, immediately and enthusiastically shake our opponent's hand and say something nice, avoid making excuses for our loss. There are many reasons for outcome; it is better to direct focus on our opponent's strengths that day rather than on our own shortcomings. We should reinterpret a loss as a free lesson rather than failure.
Novelist Margaret Halsey said: "In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated."
A refusal to be defeated does not necessarily mean a refusal to admit making a mistake or losing a battle. It can mean working hard to direct the blame toward someone else rather than to oneself.
Only when we admit (at least to ourselves) that we have gone dreadfully wrong, made a bad mistake or clearly picked the wrong choice can we assess when the problem began and learn from it so that the problem will not happen again.
Much of life is wasted by people who insist upon refusing to admit that they have made a mistake. They spend a huge amount of time, effort and money gathering evidence to show that they did not make a mistake. Later in their lives they often find themselves in a dead end. It's a dead end they built for themselves.
Defeat is not a bad thing if we use it as a stepping stone to gain experience and wisdom. There are certain potential advantages to losing and some unexpected blessings that may come by way of defeat, especially given a sufficiently attentive social environment. It may require a stunning failure or defeat in one area of one's life to enable him to turn his attention to some other area that will have more enduring interest and appeal.
American author William Arthur Ward said: "To bear defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to receive honors with humility---these are marks of maturity and graciousness."
We live our lives, we wear out, we croak. We sink into oblivion with our departure from this world. People remember us for at best a day or two after we pass away. In spite of ourselves we cannot live longer than we are destined to. Ageing and then death is as inevitable as sunrise and then sunset. We are normal mortals.
But among us there are people who are immortals. They stand taller and see farther than the rest. They dedicate their life to occupy a place among the immortals gloriously registered in the pages of history. Their immortality is attributed to their extraordinary ability in achieving feats ordinary 'we' cannot afford. They are the heroes. They are the visionaries. They are our leaders. We vote for them.
A leader is one who leads his or her followers. A leader is one who leaves examples for future leaders to replicate. A leader is one who leaves behind memorable statements.
A refreshing change will be represented in our politics if any of our major political leaders in the morning of 30th December declares: "We accept the results with an open heart and will sit on the opposition benches."
Such a declaration would herald a huge shift from the past when in previous elections the losing party has usually leveled bitter accusations of poll-rigging and outside interference to explain their defeat.
And the leader who would be victorious in this election would register her name on a page of our history if she blends a little tinge of humility in her victory speech: "My dear countrymen! Listen to me, please. The leader who is going to sit on the opposition bench of our parliament is more virtuous than me in many fields and we have many a lesson to learn from her varied experiences. We need her as a copilot for our journey ahead."
If there were an essay contest to make a draft concession speech for our future opposition leader, I wish I could pen the following lines:
"Our people have made their choice and have selected Mrs. X and her XYZ party as the instruments to fulfill their will for the next five years. The people have given their verdict, and I gladly honor it. The majority of our people have rallied behind Mrs. X and her party. People have firmly believed her promises. Her qualities have now to be exclusively invested in leading us.
"From the core of my heart I pay my gratitude to all my party supporters who campaigned day and night to see us victorious. Now I earnestly urge them all to give Mrs. Y all the support she will need to carry out the heavy tasks that lie before her. I hereby guarantee my wholehearted support to her and give her my and my party's unalloyed assurance that under no circumstances we will allow the growth of our nation to retard. We will not call "HARTAL". What instead we will do is watch her from the opposition bench of our sacred parliament not necessarily to only oppose her but also to wake her up if she ever unmindfully sleeps on her commitments she had pledged to our nation.
We have to remain vigilantly united for attaining what our valiant freedom fighters had dreamt about. The dream of our freedom fighters that united us as Bangladeshi citizens is far greater than the election contest that has divided us as political parties. We were not enemies, we were mere opponents. We vote as many, but we dream as one. With faith in democracy we will move forward to reach our cherished goal of a prosperous Bangladesh. May Allah guide us all!"
If any of our leaders exhibits such magnanimity in accepting her defeat her name will be engraved in history books in bold letters made of gold with platinum rims!
On hearing such an emotive speech from one of our illustrious leaders conceding defeat with such a grace many of us will be feeling our hearts pounding our chests and the majority of our people will be making their minds to elect her as the next prime minister, if the next party in power fails to deliver what they have promised.
The writer is a banker. He may be reached at maswood@hotmail.com