Dowry is a deep social disease
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Md. Shakib Hasan
FERDOUSI is a girl of 22 studying in a renowned private university. She is good-looking. Her wedding was supposed to be held two months before as arranged by her guardians. But the marriage could not be held. The reason is dowry. Since her father was a simple service holder, he could not meet the demand of dowry made from the bridegroom's side. After the incident, Ferdousi decided that she would not think of marrying right now. She has determined that she would continue her regular study. She wants to be a self-dependant girl and overcome the obstacles that happened in her life.
Few victims of dowry can take such decision in this country. But she has done so, because of the fact that her father, despite his limited income, is able to bear the expenses of her education. So it was possible for her to take such kind of decision. In spite of the incident and her decision to be self-dependent, her family is still trying to arrange her marriage elsewhere.
Only few girls like Ferdousi can take right decision, though in most cases they cannot take such decision due to social factors as well as family pressure. In the most cases, the girls whose wedding prospects fall through due to dowry or same other reasons, it becomes very hard for the parents to take a second initiative to marry their daughter. As a result, they have to lead a very depressed life and face social discrimination. It is the real feature of our society.
Dowry-related violence and death from dowry demands or social discrimination has become scourge of society. Truly, dowry is referred to as a deeper disease that relates to how our social degradation indicates dishonour to women.
Gender discrimination does not simply lead to a miserable existence of the victim, it creates various sources of deprivation of our girls. The dowry is one of the curses to weaken their rights. This curse is one of the paramount obstacles to society in establishing the rights of women. An activist in the field of social research, Mohammad Khairul Alam said: "The hope of dowry is not only the expectation of bridegroom and his father but also his sister and mother in spite of being women. So, to remove dowry from the society men and women should come forward equally."
A social research on Raky community carried out by Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation at Lalbagh area in Dhaka has shown that women are deprived of inherent assets. On the occasion of marriage ceremony, a lot of money or assets are given to the bridegroom which is nothing but dowry. This kind of practice inspires dowry in society. So to decrease dowry, it is the crying need of the time to ensure inherent assets of the women.
Dr. Ahasun Habib, professor of Asian University of Bangladesh said: "The system of social security in our society cannot ensure the women's rights exactly. At the family level, women are deprived of their due rights. In such circumstances, a bride also expects that if she can bring some valuable assets to her husband's family from her father that would win her some prestige in the adopted family of husband and the in-laws. So dowry system spreads its roots society for different reasons. If it can ensure the real rights of daughters, this kind of evil system may be removed."
The opinion of social researcher S.M. Mostak Ahmed is: "Polygamy also poses various troubles to society. Several incidents of polygamy did occur owing to dowry in the poor and marginalized regions. In spite of having permitted polygamy in our law and also having social acceptance, most of the times the victim women are suffering from polygamous abuse due to illiteracy of the community. We should discourage polygamy in order to stop dowry and at the same time marriage registration should be compulsory."
Misplacement of polygamy creates a lot of problems particularly in Bangladesh. In the susceptible areas all over the country, it seems to be a great opportunity to many miscreants for getting extra money or assets from the parents of bride as dowry. After a few days, the bride confronts a lot of familial and social problems which are generated due to social degeneration. Sometimes they do not get proper judgment. In this case, Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation's surveyors think it is possible to overcome the dowry problems if we start the marriage registration and conditional polygamy.
The writer is advocacy officer, Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation. He can be reached at email: Shakib.email@gmail.com
FERDOUSI is a girl of 22 studying in a renowned private university. She is good-looking. Her wedding was supposed to be held two months before as arranged by her guardians. But the marriage could not be held. The reason is dowry. Since her father was a simple service holder, he could not meet the demand of dowry made from the bridegroom's side. After the incident, Ferdousi decided that she would not think of marrying right now. She has determined that she would continue her regular study. She wants to be a self-dependant girl and overcome the obstacles that happened in her life.
Few victims of dowry can take such decision in this country. But she has done so, because of the fact that her father, despite his limited income, is able to bear the expenses of her education. So it was possible for her to take such kind of decision. In spite of the incident and her decision to be self-dependent, her family is still trying to arrange her marriage elsewhere.
Only few girls like Ferdousi can take right decision, though in most cases they cannot take such decision due to social factors as well as family pressure. In the most cases, the girls whose wedding prospects fall through due to dowry or same other reasons, it becomes very hard for the parents to take a second initiative to marry their daughter. As a result, they have to lead a very depressed life and face social discrimination. It is the real feature of our society.
Dowry-related violence and death from dowry demands or social discrimination has become scourge of society. Truly, dowry is referred to as a deeper disease that relates to how our social degradation indicates dishonour to women.
Gender discrimination does not simply lead to a miserable existence of the victim, it creates various sources of deprivation of our girls. The dowry is one of the curses to weaken their rights. This curse is one of the paramount obstacles to society in establishing the rights of women. An activist in the field of social research, Mohammad Khairul Alam said: "The hope of dowry is not only the expectation of bridegroom and his father but also his sister and mother in spite of being women. So, to remove dowry from the society men and women should come forward equally."
A social research on Raky community carried out by Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation at Lalbagh area in Dhaka has shown that women are deprived of inherent assets. On the occasion of marriage ceremony, a lot of money or assets are given to the bridegroom which is nothing but dowry. This kind of practice inspires dowry in society. So to decrease dowry, it is the crying need of the time to ensure inherent assets of the women.
Dr. Ahasun Habib, professor of Asian University of Bangladesh said: "The system of social security in our society cannot ensure the women's rights exactly. At the family level, women are deprived of their due rights. In such circumstances, a bride also expects that if she can bring some valuable assets to her husband's family from her father that would win her some prestige in the adopted family of husband and the in-laws. So dowry system spreads its roots society for different reasons. If it can ensure the real rights of daughters, this kind of evil system may be removed."
The opinion of social researcher S.M. Mostak Ahmed is: "Polygamy also poses various troubles to society. Several incidents of polygamy did occur owing to dowry in the poor and marginalized regions. In spite of having permitted polygamy in our law and also having social acceptance, most of the times the victim women are suffering from polygamous abuse due to illiteracy of the community. We should discourage polygamy in order to stop dowry and at the same time marriage registration should be compulsory."
Misplacement of polygamy creates a lot of problems particularly in Bangladesh. In the susceptible areas all over the country, it seems to be a great opportunity to many miscreants for getting extra money or assets from the parents of bride as dowry. After a few days, the bride confronts a lot of familial and social problems which are generated due to social degeneration. Sometimes they do not get proper judgment. In this case, Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation's surveyors think it is possible to overcome the dowry problems if we start the marriage registration and conditional polygamy.
The writer is advocacy officer, Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation. He can be reached at email: Shakib.email@gmail.com