Farzana protests mockery of marriage

Until Friday last (November 11) Farzana Yasmin was an ordinary girl like others of her age. That she completed her higher study from Eden College, Dhaka is nothing exceptional these days because a Masters degree no longer secures one's future unless it is in an enviable subject and the results all through are excellent. Perhaps Farzana's academic achievements were not that outstanding. If it had been so, she would not have agreed to marry a headmaster of primary school. After all, it was an arranged marriage. The girl opted for a life in her known rural surrounding of Barguna, a coastal area in the country's south. A modest ambition it was that she and her family pursued. Then what makes Farzana special? It is her courage, clear conscience, integrity and a sense of outrage she felt at the demeaning treatment of her as a person that gives her character the making of a heroine. In a country where dowry, albeit it is legally banned, is a cause of limitless agony and suffering -both physical and mental leading often to tragic consequences - the girl had the courage to rise to the occasion when it mattered most. As a newly wed, who was about to say goodbye to her family that raised her and start her journey for a family which would have been her own for the rest of her life, she confronted the difficult choice of making a compromise on something she hated and take a bold stand against the insult that came her way. Anyone can feel how Farzana felt in those crucial moments. She had to consider how the conventional social values would judge her after she publicly invalidates the marriage solemnised only hours ago. Apart from the possible social repercussion, there was the family reaction. Our society is yet to be prepared for a revolting girl who dares dissolve a marriage so promptly. Many will be shocked. When Farzana was experiencing the conflicting emotions caused by the rude shock that brought her back to hard reality from the rosy dream she was picturing in her mind, it was not easy for her to take the right decision. Even men of big hearts, let alone a girl and that too in her wedding gown, fail to respond to the call at such crucial moments. Farzana's specialty lies in the fact that she did not surrender to the demeaning dowry proposal given moments before her departure from her parents' house. Farzana demonstrated coolness of temper and brilliance of intelligence at their best by asking for the opinion of the man she had just married on the issue. When the man told that the words of her aunt - the relative who raised the dowry issue but did not call it dowry but 'gift' - were his words, she took no time to declare that the man would never be her husband and the formality needed to negate the marriage was performed instantly. By doing so, Farzana scaled great height all on a sudden. She has set an example for girls who accept the subservient role and groan under the brutal repression of the man she is married to and other members of his family. Farzana's overnight transformation into a heroic stature has its significance because what seminars, workshops fail to do she has done it single-handedly. Fortunately for her, media focus on her has made a difference in the situation. The role of media has proved crucial in many cases where victims of injustice were not denied justice ultimately. Here is a case that deserves to be celebrated. Farzana must not be subjected to any kind of social reprimand. When media lose interest in her after a while, chances are that she will once again experience frustration if she cannot manage an employment for her. She has overcome one psychological barrier, she should be helped in another if she faces problems because of this. Institutional support, if she is in need of, should be provided because she deserves such rewards. Let her hold her head high. That will be the best recognition of the character of a girl who has symbolised the collective protest against dowry and gender inequality. The bridegroom's side has come up with a different version of the incident that led to the nullification of the marriage. It says that the bride and her family did not like the sets of jewellery brought for her; so the drama was enacted. Does the argument stand? The jewellery sets were not brought out when the wedding feast was over and the wedding entourage was about to leave with the bride. The jewellery adorned her when she was presented as a bride on stage. If disliking the jewellery was the case, the bride's family did not allow solemnising the marriage. Now that the Directorate of Primary Education has moved to look into the demand for dowry, many such flimsy arguments will be put forward. Since cases have been filed by both parties, at no point should the girl be harassed. She deserves a hero's welcome. Hats off to Farzana - a special girl and courage embodiment!