Impossible to turn eyes away from you, oh mom!

Today, May 11, is Mother's Day. For many of us, who have lost their mothers, Mother's Day is a painful reminder. Over and over, it's a screaming reminder of loss. I was looking for ways on this 'day of mother' to honour all the mothers, especially my own mother who had passed away on July 31, 1991. That I am now writing about mothers, that I am remembering my own mother is simply therapeutic to me. I feel as if I am communicating with all the mothers who passed away. Whenever someone dies, I don't know why, I become desperate to write about the deceased. When you write about someone you loved, who no more is around, you have a cathartic feeling. You feel as if he or she were watching over your shoulders what you are writing and trying to listen to your words emanating from the bottom of your heart. Writing helps bring out your those pent-up emotions that might otherwise churn around inside your heart.
Whenever I feel sad I say quite loudly "Maa, I am not feeling good", though my mother is not alive to hear my call. Whenever I feel pain I groan in a whispering tone "Maa, no more I can endure". Whenever there is a good piece of news I feel like shouting "Maa, where are you? I wish you were with me". But, the most wrenching pain I have to endure is when I have to eat something that my mother loved very much. On many an occasion, I had to shy away from those delicious foods that I no more can share with my beloved mother. But, we should help our mothers live on. We may give our mothers immortality by keeping parts of their spirits alive. We should cook her special dishes and savour and share those with our friends and relations.
Never in my life did I see my mother taking the biggest piece of a cake or the finest piece of fish or meat. She hardly joined us in dining; she would always wait till we had finished taking our meals. Never ever I was allowed to check what my mother actually did eat as her lunch or dinner. Now I realise why she was so shy in taking her meals along with us! We took what we wanted and it was always my mother who got the balance, always the leftovers. She would always save foods remaining uneaten at the end of her meal, in case we needed more to eat.  When she saw there were, for instance, only five pieces of mangoes left for six of us she would not hesitate to tell a blatant lie: she would say there were more mangoes in the kitchen or would announce that she did not like a mango to eat as she had some kind of stomach troubles.
The very word "Maa" or "Mom" brings across an image of a divine woman in our mind, a woman who sacrifices her personal comforts for the sake of her children, a lady who is always ready to shelter and guide us. Even when we hear the word "Maa" in a poem or a song, a melancholy mood overwhelms us. The song or the poem casts our mind back to the sweet moments we had passed with our mothers. Such songs always inspire us to love and defend our motherland. Motherland actually stands next to one's mother. If there were no mother the word patriotism would never appear in our vocabulary. If we didn't love our mothers we wouldn't shed the last drop of our blood to defend the freedom and honour of our motherland. That is why we jump to fight to save our nation whenever we hear "Maa" calling us to stand our guard.
Aaji Bangladesher Ridoy Hotey Kokhon Aponi, Tumi Ei Aparup Roopey Bahir Holey Janani! Ogo Maa Tumai Dekhey Dekhey Akhi Naa Firey! Tumaar Duaar Aaji Kholey Gesey Sonaar Mondirey. Ogo Maa. (When have you emerged so spontaneously from the heart of Bangladesh in such inexpressible beauty? It's impossible to turn eyes away from you, oh mom! The doors have today flung open revealing your exquisite temple of gold; oh my mom.) This is the Tagore song that was broadcast from 'Akash Bani Kolkata', the Calcutta Radio Station, every single day, just at the moment Debdulal Bandyopadhyay would finish reading out the Bengali news bulletin in the morning, mostly covering the events of liberation war of Bangladesh in 1971.
Among those of us who bemoaned the sufferings of our young boys in the war and beseeched God's help for the success of our liberation war it would be impossible to find one single adult person in those days of tumult whose heart did not break or whose eyes did not mist while hearing the song wafting from a hidden transistor - a song that is patriotic but also bears a poignant tone of melancholy. The singer, as if, sang in unison with our heartbeats with the enchanting line "Ogo Maa Tumai Dekhey Dekhey Akhi Naa Firey!" reverberating in the air. At a time when we needed to save our motherland from the clutches of some demons, the song had inspired us not to lose the sight of a bright future with blessings from God and our mothers. The song touched the deepest chord of our hearts as it evoked the innate feelings for our mothers.
My mother was born on April 21, 1926, the exact date Queen Elizabeth II was born. My mother and Queen Elizabeth are of course quite different in their heritage, culture and appearances. Still, I find a lot of my mother's traits in Queen Elizabeth, especially in their styles of walking and the way they smiled. I adore the Queen and I never miss any news about the Queen. I am glad when I find her in a happy mood. And I cried when I saw her in distress during some tragedies that visited her royal family. Queen Elizabeth is one of the few persons still living in the world with whom I can relate and in whom I smell my mother. A third person would say Elizabeth is way better in her look and postures than my mother was. But, I would say my mother was way prettier and more motherly. After all, your mother is the prettiest lady ever born on this planet!
 Every child from every corner of the world calls his or her mother "Maa" or "Mum". Hardly there is another word which has no variation in pronouncement in all the languages all over the world.
Mother means soul of all mankind. Meaning of mother cannot actually be expressed in words. Mother means mother; no other words can really convey a truer meaning of a mother. Mother is an epitome of everything good. She is a priceless possession. Her love can never be expressed merely in words. Mothers do not need pampering to show their kind faces to their children. A mother crosses all the barriers to explore new worlds with her children, walks bravely through family conflicts to safeguard her children's safety and future interests and stretches her hours of hard work to usher her children to a new world of joys and happiness, unasked and unforced. She will always stick by your side, no matter how old you are. You are a baby to your mother, even if you are 80 years old. Her child does not age before her eyes.
The heart of a mother is like a deep ocean at the bottom of which you always find kindness and forgiveness. The appearance of a mother changes with the passage of time but her heart remains young and unchanged. The skin of her face may get wizened under the weight of her age, but the kernel inside her heart remains as soft as ever, her heart always filled to the brim with the same amount of love and compassion for her children throughout her life since she gave birth to her first child. Mothers are the strangest altruistic creatures and without their unselfish genes this world would not have been as it is today. All that we are, we owe only to our mothers.
[email protected]