Motivating girls to explore fullest potentials

Youths are the future of the nation. We all heard strong and inspirational words while we grew up. To some extent, it is true. Youths aged between fifteen and twenty four are the vital elements in any nation, and this is very much true for our own nation. The fresh knowledge and ideas that youths represent with their vibrant passion and energy have created wonders around the globe, and for these wonders to continually happen we must encourage and inspire our youths. However, when it is time for our young people to show their talents, we find that it is the young males who have become the prototype, not the young females. Why is that so? Are our young females just not talented enough? Do they not have what it takes to build our nation? Of course not! Our young females are just as bright and talented as any other male in our society. But due to persistent social and cultural discriminations our young women are lagging behind while our young men are jumping a step ahead towards their road of success.
Whether you believe or not, Bangladesh is still a highly patriarchal conservative society. If translated, that would mean-- men rule. Still now, every decision regarding a girl's life is taken by  male members of the family. Our women face a lot of challenges from a very young age right from the very beginning at their own home all the way to their in -laws' home. At their own home, girls have constantly been pushed by their parents to do well in their exams, they must do the best so that they get chance in the best institutes of the country. About exam results, we all hear parents brag about how well their daughters have performed and how extremely proud they are. They talk about how excited they are for their daughters' future as one plans on making her a doctor, while the other talks about making her an engineer. Now, you could ask yourself, where does the discrimination lie in all of these?
Today our young girls are being encouraged to become educated and self-sufficient persons, girls were not even allowed to think about all that before. Where is the problem? I would say think a little deeper, are our parents only motivating their daughters just to become empowered, independent or self-sufficient or are they just doing this to increase  value of their daughters in the so called "Marriage market"? While some of our girls, just like me, can proudly say that their parents are encouraging them to become independent, most of us realise all too soon that all of these have been done so that their parents can marry them off to better families. The more educated you are the better suitor you will get. They face this sad reality when they place their first step in building their career.
The first challenge a girl faces is when she is to decide which career she wants to work in. Since decisions regarding a girl's life are taken by the male members of the family, much of what the girls want are ignored. "Our daughter shall become a doctor; she'll work inside the hospital, won't have to travel much outside and think of all the marriage proposals she'll get!" quotes my uncle who lives next door. I felt sad for my friend because she wanted to study something else and her voice was completely unheard. This was just one example; there are millions of girls in our country who face the same problem when it comes to choosing their career. Parents choose a career for their own daughters according to what our society and culture would accept. They would rather have their daughters made a doctor than an entrepreneur because being an entrepreneur requires the girl to be outgoing and our society just will not allow that. And just like my unfortunate friend, millions of girls surrender to the wishes of their families and societies and do what they were asked to do.
While our brave young girls overcome their first roadblock, it is when they start working that they face their most scathing of challenges. Most young girls are often discouraged by their families from working outside. Despite the support, when our young girls still work outside, they face the wrath of both society and their families. There are some girls out there who get the support of their parents but that too also come with a lot of restrictions. "You may go, but you must come home before dark, or you will be in trouble," these are the everyday dialogues that any young female would have to hear while going out. On the other hand, our males do not have that time limit when it comes to work. My very same friend, who is now a doctor, faces a lot of tension at home just because her parents do not understand her workload. Every day she comes home all tensed and worried about how her parents will react. She either faces the anger of her parents at full force or just ends up being locked outside her home for an hour. On the contrary, her younger brother comes home hours late and does not face the same treatment at all. Rather his parents are rather understanding. The young girl is not allowed to rest and has to help her mother with the household chores while on the other hand, the younger brother enjoys all the fun.
The situation only gets worse once the working girl is married off. Not only are most in-laws condescending of her contribution to household finances, they are mostly authoritarian and they place terms and conditions on the extent of her involvement with work, almost as though they are afraid the daughter-in-law will surpass their own son in achievements. Of course there is always that sacrifice a wife will unquestionably make.  Women  stay home to look after the kids. The bottom line becomes, girls are always ultimately consciously or unconsciously brought up to believe their greater role as the home makers. This is how our society works. Still now, no matter how much a girl justifies that she is only going abroad for work purposes, our society will raise an eyebrow and God forbid should she have a child she is leaving behind. It is because of this age old defined role of the woman, the definition of her virtue, her character that pressurizes our families in doing what they mostly do, put their daughters on house arrest, make them conform. A girl who does not, is a lost case, an embarrassment and a mar upon family honour. Society frequently has apt punishments for these outgoing non-conformists: Sexual, physical and psychological harassment.
Therefore, let us not forget that our girls must conform to society's strict standards, often double standards.
To become a youth you just need to be aged between fifteen and twenty five but to become an inspirational youth you need to face the obstacles. And who is more than a better example than our women? Despite the obstacles that they face from their own home to the home of their in-laws, they always move forward and take the best of what they have. We have to remember that our youths represent both males and females. If we still want remarkable changes for our future nation we have to change the way we think. We have to become more supportive. We have to give equal importance to what a girl wants to do in her life, allow her to follow her passion. Do not treat her as someone who is just meant to be a home maker. Inspire her and motivate her just like we do with all the other men in our society because it is an inspired and motivated individual that can bring those wonderful changes that we all are waiting for.
The writer is a third year student of BBA at East West University, Dhaka, ftmazumder_01@yahoo.com