Our lady colleagues
Mamun Rashid | Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Mamun Rashid
When I put in my resignation in my bank last December, the first person to burst into tears in my room was a lady colleague, the first person to send me a personal short message(SMS) from abroad was a lady colleague and the first person to send an e-mail to my personal address was a lady colleague. Incidentally who made my life tough during the last days of my banking career was a lady colleague and more ironically who fuelled into this negatively and tried to make best use of it was reportedly also a lady colleague. Yet, I strongly believe ladies are becoming increasingly our partners in progress in the work place, institutions and in nation-building. Women have dramatically increased their numbers in professional and technical occupations for several reasons -- greater educational and employment opportunities, the influence of the western mass media and the growth of individualism, combined with economic hardship in families. We are finding it increasingly tough at times to send our female colleagues home even at 9 pm -- that is, at night. They want to climb the career ladder like their male counterparts. And believe you me, they can do it. Many, if not all, do a fantastic job, with less gossip, more work and more attention to handling clients' needs than their male colleagues. However, for many women, combining work and family in an ever-more-competitive business world means an inevitable rise in both stress and guilt. For most women, more time spent on the job means compromising time with family, creating a high level of stress and swallowing no small amount of guilt. Under our inherited norms, married working women find themselves torn and tired, and worrying that they may be neglecting their children and home. Women often enter work, marriage or parenthood with fixed role expectations of themselves, but later fail to fulfill those expectations. This brings about a conflict between what they expect and experience. Role conflict may lead to sub-standard performance and a host of other behaviourial outcomes. In addition, family members at times make the situation more stressful. It is very difficult for the Bangladeshi women to constantly communicate with their spouses because they believe the Bangladeshi men are not, or do not want to be, aware of the growing changes in society. They also think we, husbands, have a hard time viewing home and family work as 'our work'. Such views supposedly threaten marital stability. Women make up a significant percentage of the overall labour force, yet hold only an insignificant percentage of top earning positions and an extremely negligible percentage of power titles (if not for quota-filling). A critical element in making it to the top is being in the pipeline to do so. But women in our country also have to believe they can make it. Studies suggest, and my own experience confirms, that it is hard for women and for minorities to believe they can progress if they cannot look up and see faces like their own at the top. When highly educated women perceive a dearth of viable options and leave the workforce, the pipeline narrows further. So how do some women balance their careers with their responsibilities as mothers and wives? It takes energy, patience, hard work and creativity. Even when a woman is given an opportunity to pursue a fabulous job in a country outside Bangladesh, she is more likely to think twice, to place family priorities above career priorities in making the decision. On top of all the responsibilities, women often have to deal with how others judge her. There lies the dilemma of double standards: can a woman who works hard succeed in her career and avoid being perceived as a negligent mother or wife? I know an extremely brilliant lady, having fabulous academic and intellectual background, but being somehow marginalized by her 'socially very loud' male colleagues, with the allegation that if she is given the top/semi-top position, she may not be able to cope with, or remain available in time of need. No one looks at working husbands or fathers suspiciously when they travel frequently on business. Yet it is often the toughest decision for a working woman to do the same. However, millions of women around the world somehow manage, often at the cost of their own personal time or with more encouraging husbands. We are seeing this happen in Bangladesh too. Let us do a bit more for our female colleagues. I tell you, they can create wonders for you: a better workplace, mutual respect, and above all, building an environment of togetherness, putting in their best for you, their institutions, community and nation. (The writer is a banker and economic analyst. He can be reached at: mamun1960@gmail.com)
When I put in my resignation in my bank last December, the first person to burst into tears in my room was a lady colleague, the first person to send me a personal short message(SMS) from abroad was a lady colleague and the first person to send an e-mail to my personal address was a lady colleague. Incidentally who made my life tough during the last days of my banking career was a lady colleague and more ironically who fuelled into this negatively and tried to make best use of it was reportedly also a lady colleague. Yet, I strongly believe ladies are becoming increasingly our partners in progress in the work place, institutions and in nation-building. Women have dramatically increased their numbers in professional and technical occupations for several reasons -- greater educational and employment opportunities, the influence of the western mass media and the growth of individualism, combined with economic hardship in families. We are finding it increasingly tough at times to send our female colleagues home even at 9 pm -- that is, at night. They want to climb the career ladder like their male counterparts. And believe you me, they can do it. Many, if not all, do a fantastic job, with less gossip, more work and more attention to handling clients' needs than their male colleagues. However, for many women, combining work and family in an ever-more-competitive business world means an inevitable rise in both stress and guilt. For most women, more time spent on the job means compromising time with family, creating a high level of stress and swallowing no small amount of guilt. Under our inherited norms, married working women find themselves torn and tired, and worrying that they may be neglecting their children and home. Women often enter work, marriage or parenthood with fixed role expectations of themselves, but later fail to fulfill those expectations. This brings about a conflict between what they expect and experience. Role conflict may lead to sub-standard performance and a host of other behaviourial outcomes. In addition, family members at times make the situation more stressful. It is very difficult for the Bangladeshi women to constantly communicate with their spouses because they believe the Bangladeshi men are not, or do not want to be, aware of the growing changes in society. They also think we, husbands, have a hard time viewing home and family work as 'our work'. Such views supposedly threaten marital stability. Women make up a significant percentage of the overall labour force, yet hold only an insignificant percentage of top earning positions and an extremely negligible percentage of power titles (if not for quota-filling). A critical element in making it to the top is being in the pipeline to do so. But women in our country also have to believe they can make it. Studies suggest, and my own experience confirms, that it is hard for women and for minorities to believe they can progress if they cannot look up and see faces like their own at the top. When highly educated women perceive a dearth of viable options and leave the workforce, the pipeline narrows further. So how do some women balance their careers with their responsibilities as mothers and wives? It takes energy, patience, hard work and creativity. Even when a woman is given an opportunity to pursue a fabulous job in a country outside Bangladesh, she is more likely to think twice, to place family priorities above career priorities in making the decision. On top of all the responsibilities, women often have to deal with how others judge her. There lies the dilemma of double standards: can a woman who works hard succeed in her career and avoid being perceived as a negligent mother or wife? I know an extremely brilliant lady, having fabulous academic and intellectual background, but being somehow marginalized by her 'socially very loud' male colleagues, with the allegation that if she is given the top/semi-top position, she may not be able to cope with, or remain available in time of need. No one looks at working husbands or fathers suspiciously when they travel frequently on business. Yet it is often the toughest decision for a working woman to do the same. However, millions of women around the world somehow manage, often at the cost of their own personal time or with more encouraging husbands. We are seeing this happen in Bangladesh too. Let us do a bit more for our female colleagues. I tell you, they can create wonders for you: a better workplace, mutual respect, and above all, building an environment of togetherness, putting in their best for you, their institutions, community and nation. (The writer is a banker and economic analyst. He can be reached at: mamun1960@gmail.com)