Revisiting our traditional values
Saturday, 17 April 2010
Shamsher Chowdhury
WE were 14 brothers and sisters with three gone, we are now 11. We received the best of education. The man responsible for imparting quality education to the entire clan was our father, one-time senior civil servant during the British rule in India. My mother came from a wealthy respectable family. A self taught woman, she too knew the value of education and complimented my father's endeavours. Today we continue to serve the country in the various fields of our know-how and professional expertise. Those of us who are alive today, with the exception of a few were educationists and teachers of exceptional caliber. Even to this day they teach at home their household help, their zeal for teaching and educating people extend from the corridors of the universities down to school levels including household maids at their private homes. Even to this day a brother who is in his 88th year of his life is the very symbol and architect of "education" in this country.
I would like to return to the teachings of my father once again. My father was a strict disciplinarian. His priority at all times has been education. He gave his children the best of education. He maintained that education and education alone is the very backbone of a nation. From the day he retired from active service until he breathed his last, he spent his entire time in teaching and grooming us to go forth and be worthy sons of the soil. Routinely up at five in the morning he began his rituals of teaching the 14 of us in batches of three or four. He taught us English, Arabic, History, Economics, you name it.
He left no stone unturned. He went to great lengths in teaching us to read the holy Quran the right way and to say prayers. He taught us how to be clean of body and mind. He taught us how to be kind and forgiving. He showed us the path to generosity. He narrated to each one of us how Prophet Muhammad (SM) led his life and the lessons we can learn from his life. He told us to follow the middle path in life and live a life of frugality. Prayers constituted an important segment of his education. He performed prayers five times a day and even some of those optional ones. I, along with a few of my other brothers, was rather reluctant in saying prayers. He knew that, too. One day a couple of years before his death when his health was failing, he called me to his bed side and said, " Look son, learn how to pray. There will be times in your life when in extreme grief you would be groping for answers for various complexities of life and not knowing what to do it is then, that prayers will work as the talisman and provide solace and calm your senses."
He taught us how to tackle grief. He taught us how to control anger and exercise restraint. He taught us the essence of patience and tolerance both in good and bad times.
The old man even went to the extent of enriching our lives with his insight as to how to look after one's health. He taught us to eat in limited quantities for once if the 'Thoila' (belly) becomes enlarged, it is hard to bring it down to its normal size. He told us to eat all seasonal fruits grown within the country He taught us to go for moderate exercises and go to bed no later than ten at night.
He taught us how to conduct ourselves both in good and bad times. He once told me, " Son, let your children experience as to what it means to be living in a state of deprivation. Tell them that in times of distress and misfortune, the entire family must unite and face the misfortune that might be in. If you are united he said, "Nothing can stand in your way. Always be in communication with one another amongst brothers and sisters including the extended family."
Well portraying the family scenario that nurtured its inmates to be worthy citizens of the country, was not that difficult. I am certain given he best of efforts revival of some of those cardinal values may not be that easy. The truth, however, remains that we have no other alternative but to continue with our efforts. Given the political will, combined with massive campaign both by the media and the civil society, we could make the difference.
Today, our society for all practical purposes has become morally bankrupt. It is dominated by a fierce race for money and riches. Journey into one's life begins with the family. Today it stands fragmented and direction less. Modern-day parents, belonging to comparatively well-to-do section of our population, have no time for their young school going children. They are trying to fill in the vacuum created through frantic and pointless acquisition of expensive gifts. Parents are trying to buy off affection and loyalty of their offspring by pampering them in all possible ways. I have experienced that such practices have often led to blackmailing.
Vendetta, indiscipline, violence, lust for power and greed have become the way of our lives. A reversal of the dwindling state of affairs is only possible by strengthening the institution of family. Modern-day parents must take the first step in inculcating in their children some of the classical values I have illustrated and discussed in the foregoing.
We owe it to ourselves, our future generation and the nation at large.
(The writer can be reached at e-mail: chowdhury.shamsher@yahoo.com)
WE were 14 brothers and sisters with three gone, we are now 11. We received the best of education. The man responsible for imparting quality education to the entire clan was our father, one-time senior civil servant during the British rule in India. My mother came from a wealthy respectable family. A self taught woman, she too knew the value of education and complimented my father's endeavours. Today we continue to serve the country in the various fields of our know-how and professional expertise. Those of us who are alive today, with the exception of a few were educationists and teachers of exceptional caliber. Even to this day they teach at home their household help, their zeal for teaching and educating people extend from the corridors of the universities down to school levels including household maids at their private homes. Even to this day a brother who is in his 88th year of his life is the very symbol and architect of "education" in this country.
I would like to return to the teachings of my father once again. My father was a strict disciplinarian. His priority at all times has been education. He gave his children the best of education. He maintained that education and education alone is the very backbone of a nation. From the day he retired from active service until he breathed his last, he spent his entire time in teaching and grooming us to go forth and be worthy sons of the soil. Routinely up at five in the morning he began his rituals of teaching the 14 of us in batches of three or four. He taught us English, Arabic, History, Economics, you name it.
He left no stone unturned. He went to great lengths in teaching us to read the holy Quran the right way and to say prayers. He taught us how to be clean of body and mind. He taught us how to be kind and forgiving. He showed us the path to generosity. He narrated to each one of us how Prophet Muhammad (SM) led his life and the lessons we can learn from his life. He told us to follow the middle path in life and live a life of frugality. Prayers constituted an important segment of his education. He performed prayers five times a day and even some of those optional ones. I, along with a few of my other brothers, was rather reluctant in saying prayers. He knew that, too. One day a couple of years before his death when his health was failing, he called me to his bed side and said, " Look son, learn how to pray. There will be times in your life when in extreme grief you would be groping for answers for various complexities of life and not knowing what to do it is then, that prayers will work as the talisman and provide solace and calm your senses."
He taught us how to tackle grief. He taught us how to control anger and exercise restraint. He taught us the essence of patience and tolerance both in good and bad times.
The old man even went to the extent of enriching our lives with his insight as to how to look after one's health. He taught us to eat in limited quantities for once if the 'Thoila' (belly) becomes enlarged, it is hard to bring it down to its normal size. He told us to eat all seasonal fruits grown within the country He taught us to go for moderate exercises and go to bed no later than ten at night.
He taught us how to conduct ourselves both in good and bad times. He once told me, " Son, let your children experience as to what it means to be living in a state of deprivation. Tell them that in times of distress and misfortune, the entire family must unite and face the misfortune that might be in. If you are united he said, "Nothing can stand in your way. Always be in communication with one another amongst brothers and sisters including the extended family."
Well portraying the family scenario that nurtured its inmates to be worthy citizens of the country, was not that difficult. I am certain given he best of efforts revival of some of those cardinal values may not be that easy. The truth, however, remains that we have no other alternative but to continue with our efforts. Given the political will, combined with massive campaign both by the media and the civil society, we could make the difference.
Today, our society for all practical purposes has become morally bankrupt. It is dominated by a fierce race for money and riches. Journey into one's life begins with the family. Today it stands fragmented and direction less. Modern-day parents, belonging to comparatively well-to-do section of our population, have no time for their young school going children. They are trying to fill in the vacuum created through frantic and pointless acquisition of expensive gifts. Parents are trying to buy off affection and loyalty of their offspring by pampering them in all possible ways. I have experienced that such practices have often led to blackmailing.
Vendetta, indiscipline, violence, lust for power and greed have become the way of our lives. A reversal of the dwindling state of affairs is only possible by strengthening the institution of family. Modern-day parents must take the first step in inculcating in their children some of the classical values I have illustrated and discussed in the foregoing.
We owe it to ourselves, our future generation and the nation at large.
(The writer can be reached at e-mail: chowdhury.shamsher@yahoo.com)