Saluting motherhood beyond cultural divide
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Md. Saidur Rahman
There was a time, when the families were extended, and the family activities functionally would surround mothers. Over the centuries many norms and practices have changed; and new sets of norms are being practiced. Industrial revolution has grossly revised and reversed the trends of the communities and cultures across the world. Human mobility within and across countries has increased by hundreds of times. Modernisation and globalisation have changed livelihood options and lifestyles. Life has become all the more complicated, divided within self, and restless. Individualism has replaced collectivism, i.e., individual identity has been of more importance than of group identity. Distance, at least by mileage, has been created in the relation of parents-children. The changes have taken place due both to time itself and the needs, and to individual aspirations. The wave of changes in its constant march in the first place has changed the work patterns, reconfigured social constituents, recast psychology and beliefs of the north-west of the globe. The nations in the south-east are not very far from the west. Rather, the wave has pushed many in the south-east to the west camp. Many others are in very much transitional phase with its all visibilities and changes. How does it relate to child-mother relation? Let alone the western views, if we look back at our own transitional phases through our profession, career planning and path, behavior, mobility, patterns of relationship, and lifestyles, we almost cannot recognize ourselves now compared to the time where we were few decades back. The children have left their village homes for study in cities or have left the country for foreign degrees; many people have migrated within the country or beyond for livelihood; and the daughters are married far away within or beyond the national boundary. How frequently can we now see our mothers? Those who can live with mothers or can stay right beside are obviously fortunate. But, most of us are not fortunate enough to continue to live with them or cannot afford to keep them with us. Perhaps, child-mother relation remains the same strong as ever with all its mysterious and psycho-spiritual constituents. But, the sons apart from mothers are more on the individual quests with chase of time to achieve goals in life, which have gradually transformed their mindset, and have made them self-centric. Perhaps, the quests in the children have hardened their feelings towards mothers either. What about our mothers? They understand the harshness of reality, and the inevitable quests of the material world driving their children. Staying far back in the root villages or cities, our mothers keep constantly feeling the togetherness, keep calling, and look forward to their children's visit. Can the sons and the daughters make time so frequently for mothers? For many years together, it has been a matter of occasions or festivals or some holidays for many to make some time to see mothers back in the hometown or village. Irrespective of communities, cultures and religions, this has been the reality. The north-west and the south-east stand now on the same edge. The mothers, at least while taken to reality, wait for the sons and daughters to come for reunion possibly for a day or a few. Let us put aside the ideological debate over whether we should celebrate Mother's Day as is done in the western world. Let us give our mothers some time on the day, and share their feelings; or if we cannot make time, have some gifts sent to them. Whatever remains the cultural difference; these will put a happy smile on mothers' face, and refresh the sense of togetherness, and a sense of pride in them towards beloved children. It's not about a mere day in question, it's about sensing our mothers with visits and gifts, and making them happy and smile. The writer can be reached at E-mail: msaidurbd@yahoo.com
There was a time, when the families were extended, and the family activities functionally would surround mothers. Over the centuries many norms and practices have changed; and new sets of norms are being practiced. Industrial revolution has grossly revised and reversed the trends of the communities and cultures across the world. Human mobility within and across countries has increased by hundreds of times. Modernisation and globalisation have changed livelihood options and lifestyles. Life has become all the more complicated, divided within self, and restless. Individualism has replaced collectivism, i.e., individual identity has been of more importance than of group identity. Distance, at least by mileage, has been created in the relation of parents-children. The changes have taken place due both to time itself and the needs, and to individual aspirations. The wave of changes in its constant march in the first place has changed the work patterns, reconfigured social constituents, recast psychology and beliefs of the north-west of the globe. The nations in the south-east are not very far from the west. Rather, the wave has pushed many in the south-east to the west camp. Many others are in very much transitional phase with its all visibilities and changes. How does it relate to child-mother relation? Let alone the western views, if we look back at our own transitional phases through our profession, career planning and path, behavior, mobility, patterns of relationship, and lifestyles, we almost cannot recognize ourselves now compared to the time where we were few decades back. The children have left their village homes for study in cities or have left the country for foreign degrees; many people have migrated within the country or beyond for livelihood; and the daughters are married far away within or beyond the national boundary. How frequently can we now see our mothers? Those who can live with mothers or can stay right beside are obviously fortunate. But, most of us are not fortunate enough to continue to live with them or cannot afford to keep them with us. Perhaps, child-mother relation remains the same strong as ever with all its mysterious and psycho-spiritual constituents. But, the sons apart from mothers are more on the individual quests with chase of time to achieve goals in life, which have gradually transformed their mindset, and have made them self-centric. Perhaps, the quests in the children have hardened their feelings towards mothers either. What about our mothers? They understand the harshness of reality, and the inevitable quests of the material world driving their children. Staying far back in the root villages or cities, our mothers keep constantly feeling the togetherness, keep calling, and look forward to their children's visit. Can the sons and the daughters make time so frequently for mothers? For many years together, it has been a matter of occasions or festivals or some holidays for many to make some time to see mothers back in the hometown or village. Irrespective of communities, cultures and religions, this has been the reality. The north-west and the south-east stand now on the same edge. The mothers, at least while taken to reality, wait for the sons and daughters to come for reunion possibly for a day or a few. Let us put aside the ideological debate over whether we should celebrate Mother's Day as is done in the western world. Let us give our mothers some time on the day, and share their feelings; or if we cannot make time, have some gifts sent to them. Whatever remains the cultural difference; these will put a happy smile on mothers' face, and refresh the sense of togetherness, and a sense of pride in them towards beloved children. It's not about a mere day in question, it's about sensing our mothers with visits and gifts, and making them happy and smile. The writer can be reached at E-mail: msaidurbd@yahoo.com