Social comparison: the dividing line between Bangladeshi & Finnish happiness

Happiness is a universal pursuit, but the paths societies take to achieve it vary widely. Bangladesh and Finland, two vastly different countries in terms of economy, culture, and governance, offer an interesting contrast in how happiness can be impacted by cultural norms, especially social comparison.
While Bangladesh typifies how widespread social comparison can dent happiness, Finland stands as a model where people do not have the tendency to constantly compare themselves with their fellow citizens, which has a positive impact on how happy they can be. This difference sheds light on the intricate ways in which culture influences our life satisfaction.
The trap of social comparison in Bangladesh: The Bangladeshi society is the epitome of how social comparison kills happiness. Bangladeshi children grow up with the message that it is not enough to do good if their peers are doing better. Absolute excellence, especially in school, may earn a Bangladeshi child little appreciation if it lags behind in terms of relative excellence.
This may be one of the key reasons why many Bangladeshi children have a hard time achieving happiness once they become adults. The seed of comparison is sown in their minds early, and they later apply it to various aspects of their lives.
Social comparison, however, is not exclusive to the Bangladeshi society. Human beings have a strong tendency to compare themselves with others regardless of the country they live in. Americans live in one of the world’s richest countries, and they also compare themselves with others in society.
A group of Harvard students were given two choices. In the first choice, they live in a society where they get $50,000 a year while others get $25,000. In the second, they earn $100,000 a year while others get $250,000. The majority chose the first option. In other words, they did not mind being poorer in absolute terms, given they were still doing better than other members of society.
Richard Layard, professor emeritus at the London School of Economics, argues that it is difficult for economic growth to improve people’s happiness because as actual income goes up, the norm by which income is judged rises in step as well. In his book “Happiness: Lessons from a New Science,” he refers to a study which suggests that if everyone else in society earns an extra 1 per cent, our happiness falls by one-third as much as it would rise if we ourselves earned that extra 1 per cent.
Another study found that we think our “perceived relative income” is more important for our happiness than actual income. This basic human psychological mechanism reduces the power of economic growth to raise happiness levels, Prof Layard explains.
Comparing one’s income with that of others is pervasive in the Bangladeshi society. Bangladeshis frequently compare how much they earn with the salaries of their colleagues and others in the same echelon of the economic hierarchy. This stems from their childhood conditioning that they are not actually doing good if their peers are doing better.
Instead of looking at their absolute pay to determine whether their earnings are commensurate with their skills, age, and experience, and whether it is enough to satisfy their basic needs, they often use their relative income as a measure of how satisfied they are.
Interestingly, when they make such comparisons, they do so within a very narrow frame. Prof Layard, who is also a co-editor of the World Happiness Report, notes that people usually compare their wages with those in their close circles instead of movie stars or paupers. This reference group matters to them because they think they could have earned as much as their friends do. However, they do not compare themselves with Tom Cruise as they think his income is not feasible for them.
This is true in Bangladesh as well. Bangladeshis compare their income with what their colleagues or friends get. They do not make such comparisons with celebrities like Shakib Khan or Bidya Sinha Saha Mim. [Bangladesh ranked 134 in the latest World Happiness Report among 147 countries.]
The Finnish model - Less status anxiety, more contentment: Finland has ranked as the world’s happiest country for eight years in a row in the World Happiness Report (WHR), which is a partnership of Gallup, the Oxford Wellbeing Research Centre, the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network, and the WHR editorial board. Besides, all the Nordic countries – Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and Iceland – have consistently ranked among the top 10 happiest nations. What is their secret?
While it must be acknowledged that institutional factors explain a major part of their happiness, the pattern of social comparison also plays a role. In terms of culture, Finland is a country where social comparison tends to play a smaller role than in many other societies. There is a famous line by Finnish poet Eino Leino – Kell’ onni on, se onnen kätkeköön. A rough translation is that if you have happiness, keep it hidden. In Finland, people tend not to display their wealth too much. Even the richest people tend to buy ordinary cars so as not to stick out.
Whether it is about houses, cars, or clothes, modesty rather than extravagance is the Finnish style. When Dr Frank Martela, one of the authors of this article, asks his Finnish students about their dreams once they grow up, he mostly gets simple answers. Most students say they have quite ordinary dreams, such as having a job they find engaging, building a family, owning a house in the suburbs, etc. They have realised that happiness comes from being able to enjoy the small things in life rather than dedicating their whole life to climbing up the social ladder.
As social comparison is a factor dragging many people’s happiness down in various countries, citizens in Finland have an easier time being happy. People’s status in society does not affect their happiness as much in Finland as it does in other countries. This is mainly because Finns care a bit less about such status.
Dr Martela once ran into one of the wealthiest men in Finland. The man was pushing his toddler in a stroller towards the tram station. He could have bought an expensive car or rented a private vehicle, but he opted for public transportation. That is what success looks like in Finland – just like everyone else.
On the other hand, the role of institutional factors in Finnish happiness cannot be overlooked. Research shows the countries that have high-functioning democratic system tend to be happier than others, even when both groups are doing equally good on the economic metrics. Thus, factors like free elections, free speech, lack of corruption, and government effectiveness have all been associated with higher levels of happiness of citizens. Finland and the other Nordic countries tend to top the global indicators of quality of democracy.
Furthermore, the relatively generous social benefits that the Finnish government gives out in terms of free healthcare, free education, unemployment benefits, pensions, and so forth have also been shown to be key factors that explain why Finns are so happy. Governments cannot make citizens happy, but they can remove many sources of unhappiness. This is what the Finnish government has managed to do better than most countries around the world. The secret to Finnish happiness is not more extremely happy citizens but less extremely unhappy citizens.
Concluding thoughts: Social comparison erodes happiness because it creates unrealistic expectations. When we compare ourselves with others, we focus more on what we could have achieved instead of what we already have. Such expectations lead to situations where we subjectively feel worse despite doing objectively better in life.
Moreover, comparison leads to a strong feeling of jealousy and resentment. These negative emotions affect our relationships with the persons we are comparing ourselves against.
While it may not be easy to change deeply-rooted societal norms overnight, individuals in comparison-driven countries like Bangladesh can improve their happiness by readjusting their reference groups and focusing on personal progress rather than only making comparisons.
It is unrealistic to expect that people will stop comparing their income with that of others altogether, but one way to mitigate the effects of this tendency is shifting the reference group downwards – comparing with those who earn less rather than those who make more. At the end of the day, how we choose to see ourselves relative to others largely influences how happy we can be.

Frank Martela is an assistant professor of organisation design at Aalto University in Finland. He wrote a chapter for the World Happiness Report 2020 about Nordic happiness. His latest book Stop Chasing Happiness came out on March 20 this year. Mahmudul Islam is a journalist and writer with a special focus on Finland and Finnish happiness. frank.martela@aalto.fi, r2000.gp@gmail.com