Sufferings of sexual minority students

Nazia Ansar Khan "People kept coming up to me and making fun of me, they would call me horrible names and I would cry all the time. When I would go to lunch I would have to sit through 45 minutes of different criticising jokes. A lot of time I ate in the classroom by myself because I just couldn't stand it anymore. Kids would threaten me after school and follow me home yelling things at me. No one should have to go through what I went through in school." Everyday we hear such type of name calling echoing down the corridors of our schools and in our classrooms. We certainly can sense the pain and humiliation of the young people, and sometimes we can see their anger. Yes, I am talking about gay people, one part of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender). In Bangladesh, they are addressed as Kothi or MSM (male having sex with male) people. Regarding this issue, Saleh Ahmed, the executive director of Bondhu Social Welfare Society said, "In our society LGBT people are not thought to be as human beings just when their identity is disclosed. The people of mainstream society are found to have a tendency to keep those LGBT people away from them. So naturally they can't expect company of others. Most of them can't concentrate on their study. Eventually they are not able to get a suitable job to run themselves." According to the government statistics which was prepared in 2004, there are 40,000 to 150,000 MSMs in our country. But there may be an increase in the number if the estimation is made now, said authorities concerned. The LGBT people belong to all ethnic and racial groups. They are members of all religious communities. They exhibit a range of mental and physical capabilities. They are young, middle-aged and old. Some research indicates that many sexual minority people came to know their attraction to the members of their own sex at an early age, sometimes as young as 6 or 7 years old. Although homosexuality was once thought to be a mental illness, the American Psychiatric and Psychological Associations no longer consider it to be one. Psychiatric and psychological attempts to cure LGBT people have failed to change the sexual orientation of the patients. These 'treatments' may help change sexual behaviour temporarily but also can create emotional trauma. The MSM pupil's body language is similar to a female's. They always like to get company of the female students just to play. But they would like to get male friends as their love partner. The issue of sexual orientation is one of personal importance to a great number of children. Researchers and social scientists suggest that 1 to 3 of every 10 students is either gay (male having sex with male) or lesbian (female having sex with female), or has an immediate family member who is. Thus, between 3 and 9 kids in every class of 30 has had some direct experience with the issues of homosexuality and homophobia. Adolescence is a stressful period for any youth because of tremendous physical, psychological, and cognitive changes. They need an acceptance and support from peers and significant adults. MSM students, however, are often denied such support because they are afraid of being misunderstood or rejected by their family, friends, and teachers. "There was no one in my school for me to talk about my issues. I felt completely alone and unsupported. I had nowhere to unload the burden I was feeling unless I ended it," said one ex-MSM student. The instinct for many is to hide their identity, which deepens their sense of confusion, isolation, and self-doubt. On the other hand, sexual minority youth who do come out face the very real risk of violence, harassment, prejudice, discrimination, and stigmatisation. The stressors related to either hiding or revealing one's sexual identity place sexual minority students at a higher risk for developing mental health, physical, and educational problems. Because survival at school is the priority, many LGBT students experience academic and learning problems. They may be less involved in school activities and are three times more likely than their heterosexual peers to miss school because they feel unsafe (Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 1999). Rates of suicidal ideation, attempts, and suicide by sexual minority youth are estimated to be two to three times higher than for heterosexual youth. To cope with feelings of being depressed and marginalised, LGBT teens are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviours such as drug and alcohol abuse and are also more likely to experience physical and verbal abuse in their home environment. LGBT students also drop out of school because of harassment at a rate that is approximately three times more than heterosexual students (US Department of Health and Human Services, 1989). Experiencing different harassments, an MSM described the reason of his drop out of school echoed in many others' voices as well: I dropped out of school at 17, after being at different schools. I am an MSM, and I was made fun of so much that I got sick of being in school. I couldn't stand worrying about what was going to happen to me each day when I got there, so I stopped going. I was beaten up during my time in school, and the fights and threats started when I was pretty young. I was so fed up that I had lost any interest in school. I think it is important for teachers to realise the harassment that happens every day at high school. When I told one of my teachers the reason of my leaving school he felt embarrassed and naïve, as well as shocked and appalled, because he never knew that I suffered such levels of harassment. Prejudice can cause great distress for MSM pupils, who, gradually becoming aware of their sexuality, come to realise that they are members of a despised group. When bullying and prejudice in school comes from other pupils, it comes in the forms of bullying, name-calling, harassment and sometimes physical violence. "I don't feel safe from abuse at my high school. I am relentlessly persecuted for being an MSM. The students of my school have driven their bicycles within a foot of me to drive me off the road while I was walking, and people call me vulgar names almost daily. What I am describing now is not simple child's play and name calling. It is very specific harassment that threatens my safety at school," said one MSM student. Sometimes such slurs don't even get recognised as being hurtful and may be considered socially acceptable. This behaviour attacks the self-esteem of MSM youth. They would like to hide their identity as they are afraid of others, means how their friends' view will be on them. "I would say don't tell a school friend first unless they are the closest and most trustworthy friend you know. Nobody said anything directly to me but I did notice a lot of the boys suddenly weren't friends and they would ignore me and they'd be laughing when I was around. Other people I know have had a much worse time than that, but it was bad enough," said Shafiqul. "I kept myself to myself so I got the grief of being bullied. I twice nearly killed myself because of the bullying..... I still get the unusual 'Hey, what are you doing still alive'?" said Nazmul. They hope to get a legal support to protect different types of harassments against them. One MSM student stated, "We need a law so we can say something to our teachers if they don't stop the harassment. We need to point to it and say, look, this is serious." "Usually there is no scope for male students who can also participate in females' games in our schools. Females' games are only fixed for female students. This is because our school authorities are not concerned of our sexual minority group students. But from the very begining, we came to know that sports are as important as education is for each and every student. But in our educational institute we feel the deprivation of our sexual minority group students' rights." "I would enjoy playing with the girl students. I would not like to play football, cricket etc which are games for the male as those didn't attract me. When sports came, I would have hoped to participate in some games meant for the females (skipping, and thread and needle etc). But I would not be allowed to do so. Then what to do? At last, I would have decided to perform in 'Jemon Khushi Temon Shajo' event. Look, how deprived I was at around my school life!" Many teachers actively attempt to keep sexual issues out of their classes because they are uncomfortable with the topic. "The discomfort of teachers and parents has been, for too long, allowed to frustrate the needs of pupils both MSM and straight," said one education expert. It is important for both straight and MSM pupils to be given information and skills for HIV prevention. Furthermore, just as MSM pupils need to know how to protect them in the event that they choose to have a heterosexual encounter, straight pupils need to be able to protect themselves should they have sex with a person of the same gender. "I was waiting and expecting to hear something about homosexuality, safe sex and different things in sex education. May be some information could help me. But I got nothing. There was nothing," said Shumon (one MSM). Some academic planners fear that pupils, who are taught about homosexuality, will want to rush out and try it. "This is an argument that is often used by those who oppose comprehensive sex education in schools. On the contrary, an abundance of studies have shown that sex education reduces teenage pregnancies and STD infection rates," said one physician. It is unacceptable for young MSM to experience levels of prejudice and discrimination that mar their developing years and their school experiences. They, just as much as anyone, should be able to look back warmly on their school days, without remembering bullying, name-calling, and exclusion. A school's climate is a significant determinant of whether an environment is healthy and conducive to learning. Schools have an obligation to support and enhance the self-esteem of all students regardless of their sexual orientation. They are also a logical place to provide accurate information. As educators, it falls on them to create a cooperative learning environment where all students are safe to express themselves in all their diversity. It is also the responsibility of educators to teach students that diversity is something to be celebrated rather than ridiculed. "If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values, we must recognise the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so we weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place." (Margaret Mead) (The writer can be reached at e-mail: naziaansarkhan@yahoo.com)