Tale of a simple girl with lofty dreams

This is my story. It is the story of a simple girl with lofty dreams. A girl who was not born under any lucky star or with silver-spoon in her mouth. But one thing I was certainly born with, that is my determination and willpower, and a lot of dreams.
I was born as the second daughter of my parents, which was not the best of news for my family. Especially my grandma did not have much interest to see another granddaughter when the news of a new born baby girl was shared with her.
My parents were happy though; they never let me feel any difference for being a girl but I could feel it when my grandma used to emphasize that a girl could never help her father like a boy. Her words grew within me and as I grew up. Whenever my father would go through a financial crisis, I would be agonized deep inside, feeling I am worthless for my family just because I am a girl. But then again, I thought there must be something wrong, because girls are also creations of Allah almighty, and every human being is supposed to be considered as 'Ashraful Makhlukat' - the best amongst all His creations.
As I stepped into my youth, my ambitions started blossoming and I started harboring an ambitious mind that would keep my spirits high no matter what. I started to feel the urge to do something so great that will change the common mindset regarding girls. I started dreaming of the day when people will feel equal amount of pride to have baby irrespective of the gender, whether it is a boy or a girl.
My father is a small businessman who does not earn a lot. So we have always lived in rented apartments in Dhaka for the education of my elder sister and me. Thankfully my mother, a fulltime housewife and the manager of the family as I have seen her throughout my life, never let us feel we lacked anything. During my early childhood days when I was just learning how to walk, we used to live in a house where I had a room with a big window. There I could see a vast sky through the window and I used to dream ambitious. I wanted to flourish into an admirable and be as generous as the sky is. Later we changed our residence several times but the sky never changed for me. I remained that ambitious kid who always dreams big.
The day I realized the discrimination between a boy and a girl, which I realized in my early days, I decided to be like a boy; I preferred pants instead of frocks, and had a boyish haircut too so that I would look like a boy. When I was only three years old, I went to my first school wearing shirts and pants. As a result, my classmates for a long time thought of me as a boy, and I was quite happy with that. Not just that; whenever my parents introduced me to anyone as their daughter, I used to scream and strongly protest. All of these used to concern my parents as they decided to get me admitted in a girls' school. Gradually my look started to change but my mind did not change much. I always spoke against eve-teasing and always stood for women rights.
My father wanted his daughters to grow up as strong, independent and confident girls. He always tried to engage us into activities which helped my eager mind grow with a lot of positive energy. He always inspired us to learn and explore new things such as taking part in a lot of cultural activities so that we could flourish with confidence in front of the world.
A flourishing life is incomplete without good friends and I am lucky to have a few of them who I know will always stand by me through my entire life. They are the ones who help me learn about discipline, willpower, innovation, compassion, humility and courage and a lot of good qualities. These friends I am talking about are my teachers. They have been supporting me right from my childhood to till today and they have been the architects behind my way of thinking. I am grateful to have them as my teachers and my special friends.
I was an extrovert kid in my childhood but with time I grew an unruffled mind which gradually made me an introvert person. I have always felt it interesting to observe different people's lives through which I try to learn how different individuals survive with their problems and overcome them. Though I feel that merely survival should not be the only option in a woman's life, surviving with self-esteem and evolution of life is more important.
After completing my SSC exam I took admission in a college and thought that my life's evolution was on the right track till that point of time. But once I passed my HSC exams, my confidence got badly dented when I failed to get admission in the University of Dhaka in spite of studying hard for the admission test. Subconsciously frustration and gloom overshadowed my lifelong dreams. As my father did not have enough money to get me admitted in a private university, I had to take admission in the National University. That only added to my frustration and I never felt at ease there because I was brought up through a nurturing environment in my school and college life. An inharmonious life was staring at me as I felt like a fish out of water. Then the rebellious part of my mind came to my aid and I fought my way back to overcome all odds and revive my dream. I took admission in a private university though I knew that private universities provide scholarship to only brilliant students. But thanks to Allah, my results were good enough which helped me receive a full free scholarship since my second semester which was a great news for both me and my family.
During my college days I saw some of my friends pay their tuition fees by themselves; some of them even paid the fees for their younger siblings too! That inspired me a lot to earn by myself and bear all my expenses. Though by the grace of almighty Allah, now I have earned enough to pay own expenses, but still I desire to earn enough money so that I can help my father like a son.
All I am trying is to leave behind all the disappointment and rise above discrimination so that I can get to the peak of success so that people feel proud of me. My Grandma is no more amongst us, but I know she will be watching from somewhere in the heaven and applaud with a lot of satisfaction when she will see her granddaughter become a success one day. I never wish to depend on my husband, rather want to be his strength as a supportive and independent wife. I might be still a long way away from achieving my dream, but I believe in myself as much as I believe in my dreams. One day I will make my dreams come true, because I strongly believe Survival is not the only option in life, surviving with self-esteem and evolving with time is much more important.
There is a song I love, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman." It goes very nicely with me at this juncture of my life. I am not a little girl anymore; I am stepping into days of womanhood. I am not a success story yet, but I will get there someday. All I need is time and I believe my determination and willpower will take me there.

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