The art and benefits of apologising

To become a great leader, it is very important to understand the benefit of a well-meaning apology and how to apply the best technique.
In Bangladesh, it is very atypical panorama that people are saying sorry with one another for their mistakes. But in most developed countries apologising is a common scenario in all places. You can notice it inside the shopping malls, the restaurants, in the roads even, no matter who had made mistakes but they apologise.
I can remember, few years ago, while crossing the road, a reckless driver was about to hit me. I didn't say a word to him but yelling at him in rage. The driver was howling too rather than apologised to me. But I wasn't stupefied because it happens all the time here. When I see, people are apologising with each other in developed countries, I realise that I also wanted the same thing from that reckless driver - 'an apology'.
The magical power of apology
Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world's leading executive coach of executive coaches said, "I regard apologising as the most magical, healing, restorative gesture human beings can make." In fact, consultant Bill Rosenthal, CEO of East Hampton, NY says: "Timely and effective apologies strengthen relationships and build trust with angry customers."
A bunch of anger is drifting in the world business today from annoyed employees, infuriated customers, disappointed citizens, and business leaders with bottled-up anger from non-performing organisations. The loads of anger are increasing everywhere, yet no one is apologising. No one is trying to drench the flame of anger. Rather, each person is triggering new flames by being defensive, quarrelsome and egocentric. And this is happening in many businesses today.

The power of an apology in details
Saying sorry can build huge financial benefits. In 2001, University of Michigan Health System encouraged health workers to report medical mistakes. During the programme, the doctors had to tell patients and their families about the error made, beginning with a heartfelt apology with the explanation of how the error has been made and what steps are being taken to remedy the issue. There was a reduction in the number of claiming compensation and legal lawsuits, instead of getting more lawsuits and compensations, and a significant reduction in overall legal costs has been noticed.
Nottingham School of Economics' Center for Decision Research and Experimental Economics has conducted another study which clearly proved that an apology proved much more powerful than financial compensation. The results showed that "People are more than twice as likely to forgive a company that says sorry than one that instead offers them cash" and "When money is offered, a higher purchase price makes it less likely that a customer withdraws his evaluation. An apology works independent of the level of the purchase price."
The co-author of the study Johannes Abeler attached that the result demonstrated apologies were both powerful and cheap. Moreover, he said, "You might think that if apology is costless then customers would ignore it as nothing but cheap talk - which is what it is. But this research shows apologies really do influence customers' behaviour - surprisingly, much more so than a cash sweetener. It might be saying sorry triggers in the customer an instinct to forgive - an instinct that's hard to overcome rationally."

How the CEO will apologise?
Leaders can cue their organisations in a right track. CEOs need to apologise first. They can be the role-model for others to adapt this behaviour and acknowledge their mistakes. Roshan Thiran, the CEO of Leaderonomics, a social enterprise passionate about transforming the nation through leadership development, Malaysia, says: "I tend to apologise often and many times. I get scolded and reminded that leaders must never apologise. I know these advice-givers are wrong. Apologies are great because they take the energy out of conflicts and defuse them."
Moreover, successful CEOs appreciate that saying sorry can strengthen their organisations. When the CEOs apologise, it designates that they care, are reliable, are protected enough to admit their flaws and are going to work hard for making the things better. When an apology is made, the leader gains trustworthiness instead of "losing face".
Apologies that should not be followed

So, how does the marketer will apologise? There are some suggestions from Roshan Thiran about how you should NOT apologise. He said, "Never apologise when you are insincere". People know an insincere apology. According to him, listed lines should not be used, such as:
l  I'm sorry if you feel that way.
l  Yes, we admit it and we are sorry. But…..
l  We apologise although you have to admit a big part of this is your fault too.
l  We are so sorry, but our manufacturers cause these big issues
We notice many examples of bad apologies that gigantic companies faced in corporate world. In 2008, Apple made one of these insincere apologies. Early purchasers of iPhone were disappointed when they reduced their price of their iPhone by one-third within a few months.
Instead of apologising, they issued a US$ 100 credit note. This resulted more fuming emails and letters which prompted Steve Jobs to apologise officially.

How do we apologize?
Roshan Thiran, CEO of Leaderonomics, mentioned top eight ways to apologise effectively:
1. No "if" - Eliminate the word "if" (ie "If I have offended you, I am sorry.") We are essentially telling them that we are unaware and unsure of the offences. And some may take it as a second insult where we are implying that the offended person is too sensitive as we view it as a non-issue.
2. Never apologise for anything for which you are not sorry for - your insincerity will be very obvious.
3. Separate the apology and the explanations - Apologise. No need for explanations. We all want the other person to understand that it is not entirely our fault, but this should never happen during the apology.
4. Always try to apologise in person if possible - Never use email to apologise as it comes across as insincere.
5. Make it brief - The longer you talk, the weaker the impact of your apology.
6. Never blame others - In your apology, take personal responsibility for your portion of the issue. Don't portion blame to others even if there are other parties responsible.
7. Focus on next steps and move on - After the apology, work out how to resolve the issue and how to move on.
8. Never delay your apology - Apologise quickly. After a period, your apology loses its effectiveness and positive impact.

Closing opinions
Salespeople often dread having to say they're sorry. That's a big mistake. They should welcome the opportunity to apologise because research has shown that a properly handled apology can increase the customer's loyalty.
What's most important is apologising quickly. If a marketer doesn't, the customers' resentment may grow. The customer may think that the marketer doesn't value the relationships or they're afraid of facing the problems. The longer it waits the harder for them to apologise.
The most important thing, the world needs less anger and more apologies. The best leaders say sorry to diffuse the anger and to build the relationships.
What about you? Will you apologise?

Email: sarah.shoshi@gmail.com