The dowry system breaks family ties
Md. Shakib Hasan | Saturday, 14 March 2009
THE dowry has a long history in Europe, South Asia, Africa and other parts of the world. Some of its basic functions on the positive side are to protect the wife against ill treatment by her husband, since a dowry can be a conditional gift, to help the husband discharge the responsibilities of marriage, since the dowry makes it possible for the young man to establish a household; to provide the wife with support in case of her husband's death; and to compensate the groom's kin for their payment of bride-wealth.
In Europe, the dowry served to build the power and wealth of great families and played a role in the politics of grand alliance through marriage. The giving of a dowry more or less disappeared in Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries. In India and Bangladesh, although illegal, the dowry practice is still common, especially in arranged marriages and rural areas and widely recognised as a traditional obligation. But its effects are mostly negative.
A dowry is a gift of money or valuables given by the bride's family to the groom and the newly formed household at the time of their marriage. This is found and practised more or less in all communities of the country. In some cases, parents borrow money at exorbitant rates of interest to marry off their daughters, and spend the rest of their life in great misery. Every year many young women commit suicide or face physical torture after marriage because their parents cannot afford to give dowry. Day by day, marriage has become a kind of business and exploitation of the parents of a girl. A recent survey, conducted by Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation in 2008, found three districts in northern Bangladesh where every two out of four families practise this bad tradition. It is obviously true that some parents meet demand for dowry hoping the future of their daughters would be bright. But this system would break family ties in the future and having long term bad effects, it creates several kinds of gender discrimination.
In the opinion of social researcher Mr. Mohammad Khairul Alam, "Dowry system is a matter of great shame and bad-culture in our society. It paves the way for gender discrimination. Apart from that, the bad-culture hinders a good relationship between the provider and a receiver of dowry; as a result, it creates problems between family and within the society. Each year this bad-culture costs a large number of women's life while it causes many other women to live a degraded life."
Mr. Md. Ahsun Habib, professor of Asian University said, "Only by changing our social perception, it is quiet possible to abolish the dowry system from our society."
There are thousands of cases of dowry-related violence every year. But few offenders are actually punished. It shows that the law alone is not enough. Social awareness and effective measures are needed. Registration of marriage should be made compulsory and the women and their parents should refuse the men who want dowry.
Men and women should both resist the dowry system so that we can create a movement and strong public opinion against it in every nook and corner of the country. Besides, government and non-government organisations (NGOs) should be involved in the movement and people who practise the dowry system should be socially boycotted. Leading women organisations or NGOs should hold demonstrations against such people.
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The writer is Advocacy Officer, Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation
In Europe, the dowry served to build the power and wealth of great families and played a role in the politics of grand alliance through marriage. The giving of a dowry more or less disappeared in Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries. In India and Bangladesh, although illegal, the dowry practice is still common, especially in arranged marriages and rural areas and widely recognised as a traditional obligation. But its effects are mostly negative.
A dowry is a gift of money or valuables given by the bride's family to the groom and the newly formed household at the time of their marriage. This is found and practised more or less in all communities of the country. In some cases, parents borrow money at exorbitant rates of interest to marry off their daughters, and spend the rest of their life in great misery. Every year many young women commit suicide or face physical torture after marriage because their parents cannot afford to give dowry. Day by day, marriage has become a kind of business and exploitation of the parents of a girl. A recent survey, conducted by Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation in 2008, found three districts in northern Bangladesh where every two out of four families practise this bad tradition. It is obviously true that some parents meet demand for dowry hoping the future of their daughters would be bright. But this system would break family ties in the future and having long term bad effects, it creates several kinds of gender discrimination.
In the opinion of social researcher Mr. Mohammad Khairul Alam, "Dowry system is a matter of great shame and bad-culture in our society. It paves the way for gender discrimination. Apart from that, the bad-culture hinders a good relationship between the provider and a receiver of dowry; as a result, it creates problems between family and within the society. Each year this bad-culture costs a large number of women's life while it causes many other women to live a degraded life."
Mr. Md. Ahsun Habib, professor of Asian University said, "Only by changing our social perception, it is quiet possible to abolish the dowry system from our society."
There are thousands of cases of dowry-related violence every year. But few offenders are actually punished. It shows that the law alone is not enough. Social awareness and effective measures are needed. Registration of marriage should be made compulsory and the women and their parents should refuse the men who want dowry.
Men and women should both resist the dowry system so that we can create a movement and strong public opinion against it in every nook and corner of the country. Besides, government and non-government organisations (NGOs) should be involved in the movement and people who practise the dowry system should be socially boycotted. Leading women organisations or NGOs should hold demonstrations against such people.
...................................................
The writer is Advocacy Officer, Rainbow Nari O Shishu Kallyan Foundation