The dwindling state of our family values

My father was a civil servant during the British rule in the undivided India. He retired as a District Magistrate in the year 1948. He was a strong practicing Muslim. He placed the highest priority on education. Hard work and die-hard honesty was his forte. He believed in family values and leading from the front. He was an honest man to the last penny. None of us went to schools before the ages of eight or ten. He taught us at home; English, Bengali, History, Economics, reading the Holy Quran correctly. He narrated to us from the Bhagabat Gita and the holy Ramayana. He was a strict disciplinarian and lived frugally. He was equally at home with the mighty, the poor or the ordinary. Forty years have passed since he left us. He taught us how to enjoy and live during good times and how to deal with life when misfortune strikes. We were 14 of us, brothers and sisters; he brought us up in such a way that each of us were successful people in whichever vocation we are in today. Our mother was a simple village woman who stood by him in both and bad times with unflinching loyalty and devotion. Without their combined efforts we could not have made it the way we have. Both of them are gone, father some 40 years ago and mother about 12 years ago. Most of us have obtained University degrees and achieved multiple recognitions both in the academic and extra-curricular activities including cultural and social fields. Father also taught us how to be humble. He told us to tread softly on the face of the earth for what he said, "Son, remember this is the soil beneath which we shall all be buried." Thus far and no more, I am not here to sing the praise of my family. The few anecdotal remarks are basically intended to illustrate and, perhaps, substantiate some of my observations of the present-day society and the people of this country. I am, however, positive that there are families even to day who are as fortunate as we have been. But times are fast changing. The traditional family values are steadily declining. The modern day parents ranging between the ages 35 and 45 are more into money-making and acquisition just for the sake of owning them and display until such time they are possessed with them. Today there is hardly any enforcement of discipline at family levels with the exception of a few until children grow up and leave their parental homes ready to face the realities of the outside world. The young parents whom I have referred to above are ready to do all that is necessary to be the breadearner of the family. Now a days in most cases even both parents stay away for long hours for the same purpose. As a result, the children have very little time with their parents during their formative years. In the meantime, the comprehensive form of imparting education has also taken a beating. At the school levels, while some of the pioneers of our education today have put religious education and other forms of education in conflict with each other, most of our otherwise better schools have turned out to be some kind of commercial enterprises where very little is taught about moral and ethical values. There is a growing tendency amongst affluent section of our people in particular to live a life of extravagance just because they can afford it. I find this attitude to be rather decadent. Families were the starting point of our education and upbringing. Whatever training and guidance children receive here in their formative years determine their future and the role they are likely to play in the society. Unfortunately the kind of family we are referring to no longer exists. Its values have changed. These days all that remains of a family is huddling together for an evening out at KFC or Pizza Hut. Many parents of today's generation have not even heard of Aesop's Fables or Letters of Earl of Chesterfield to his son. Most families today are negligent about teaching discipline; parents often condone rowdy and licentious behaviour as part of their love and affection for their children. The display of violence and rowdy behavior amongst school children that one sees today can also be traced back to family's laxity in teaching discipline in their formative years. I take the view that while material corruption can be downsized and tackled effectively through strict regulatory measures; the only way to rein in our moral and ethical degradation has to be through an extensive social movement by reviving our traditional value systems at family levels. It is sad to see that even married and grown-up siblings of some of the powerful and the rich are into unbecoming conduct and all sorts of corruption under the protection of their families. Discipline and respect for law is no longer there in all tiers of the society. It is thus imperative that we the parents and grand-parents put our combined efforts once again for a revival of our classic family values. The writer can be reached at e-mail : chowdhury.shamsher@yahoo.com