The theory of marriage
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Dr. M. Azizur Rahman
MARRIAGE is an important human relation in life between a male and a female as the foundation stone of setting-up a home and family. Marriage is a spontaneous or socially and legally arranged agreement between a male and a female individual to stay together at home in life.
In a conservative society including Bangladesh, most of the marriage works very well and receives a well tenure-ship. In many other cases specially in many open and ultra-modem society, happy marriage days frequently turn into an unpleasant end by an un-fortunate separation.
The people strive throughout their life to maximise their satisfaction or happiness in their personal life, family and social life and in their economic life including their job, or business life subject to their mental, physical, and financial ability in accordance with their age, education, training and experience, and overall ability and smartness. Sound mind and sound health are also important for a happy family. Sound mind and mental health is an economic variable, nursing of which normally takes place at home of a good marriage and family life. Other things remaining favourable and unchanged, if you have a good married life you can easily approach to maximise your economic and other satisfaction in life. Or it would be hard for you to put effort in maximising your satisfaction in life if you do not have a good marriage or congenial family atmosphere at home. Therefore, choosing a good, long term and permanent marital tie between a male and a female through the occasion of a good marriage is very important for earning a success in life.
Marital relationship requires an equal status in social and economic matters to ensure their tenureship and its sustainability. In case of unequal social or economic or in socio-economic status between two friends or the marriage couple, it is really hard to maintain the cordial relation. Because, people of higher status do not enjoy or unexpectedly look-down the company of the people of lower status. More precisely, the marital relation becomes less than comfortable or less than equality in reality if the couple is of unequal socio-economic status. Individuals of unequal socio-economic status find their many other things not very common, a few of which may be mentioned in the following:
Marital partners may differ in their individual and personal characteristics, their mission & vision and their way of thinking, hobbies and interest. They might differ in opinions on several matters and in many other related things in life and living. Friends of higher social and economic status tend to establish their own opinion. Marital partner of higher social status does not respect the other partner enough. Marital partner of relatively low social status suffers from an inferiority complex. In other words, husband or wife of higher social status suffers from the problem of superiority complex, which is an unpleasant reality. Due to the difference in socio-economic status, the couple may also differ significantly in their spending behaviour for their food, dress, health care, travel and outing, and for their habit of socialisation. This difference in spending behaviour may be one among the few major source of conflict between the husband and wife of unequal socio-economic status. The marital adjustment and the associated problem become intensified if the couple belongs to different nationality, culture, religion and language and mother-tongue.
'Marriage takes place between two equally smart' a theory of marriage initiated by a noble laureate professor Garry S. Becker of Chicago University. Since marriage is a relation between a male and a female individual of two different families, the marital couples are expected to be of very similar in their following characteristics:
Personal Characteristics: Both couples are expected to be of polished and acceptable behaviour, sound mind and sound health. They should not be very dissimilar in physical appearance and in height. Marital partner will belong to the similar age cohort. Equal or similar status in education, training and professional interest is also expected. They would belong to jobs and businesses of similar status. Similar test and preference, common or similar interest and hobbies in them are also desirable.
Socio-Economic Characteristics: Marital couples are likely to be of equal socio-economic characteristics including equal financial status, non-financial economic status, socio-economic status, background, economic and family history.
Socio-Cultural and Political Characteristics: Husband and wife will belong to the very similar socio-culture and political status such as similar in language and mother tongue, good spoken language and in religious beliefs, political ethics, nationality and in overall culture. The relation between families of very conservative and very fast families will be a mis-match.
Smartness: Equally smart couples will enjoy their exchange of views, knowledge, perception and the conversation in general. Smart couples will also have a democratic attitude, adjustable and compromising behaviour.
When most of the above characteristics are in common between a male and a female and their families, marriage or relation through the occasion of marriage may well take place between them. That is the way it should be to have a good marriage, good life and happiness. all of which are expected to contribute to the formation of relatively good human capital, which would be conducive to the growth and development of a good society.
The writer is Vice-Chancellor, Uttara University
MARRIAGE is an important human relation in life between a male and a female as the foundation stone of setting-up a home and family. Marriage is a spontaneous or socially and legally arranged agreement between a male and a female individual to stay together at home in life.
In a conservative society including Bangladesh, most of the marriage works very well and receives a well tenure-ship. In many other cases specially in many open and ultra-modem society, happy marriage days frequently turn into an unpleasant end by an un-fortunate separation.
The people strive throughout their life to maximise their satisfaction or happiness in their personal life, family and social life and in their economic life including their job, or business life subject to their mental, physical, and financial ability in accordance with their age, education, training and experience, and overall ability and smartness. Sound mind and sound health are also important for a happy family. Sound mind and mental health is an economic variable, nursing of which normally takes place at home of a good marriage and family life. Other things remaining favourable and unchanged, if you have a good married life you can easily approach to maximise your economic and other satisfaction in life. Or it would be hard for you to put effort in maximising your satisfaction in life if you do not have a good marriage or congenial family atmosphere at home. Therefore, choosing a good, long term and permanent marital tie between a male and a female through the occasion of a good marriage is very important for earning a success in life.
Marital relationship requires an equal status in social and economic matters to ensure their tenureship and its sustainability. In case of unequal social or economic or in socio-economic status between two friends or the marriage couple, it is really hard to maintain the cordial relation. Because, people of higher status do not enjoy or unexpectedly look-down the company of the people of lower status. More precisely, the marital relation becomes less than comfortable or less than equality in reality if the couple is of unequal socio-economic status. Individuals of unequal socio-economic status find their many other things not very common, a few of which may be mentioned in the following:
Marital partners may differ in their individual and personal characteristics, their mission & vision and their way of thinking, hobbies and interest. They might differ in opinions on several matters and in many other related things in life and living. Friends of higher social and economic status tend to establish their own opinion. Marital partner of higher social status does not respect the other partner enough. Marital partner of relatively low social status suffers from an inferiority complex. In other words, husband or wife of higher social status suffers from the problem of superiority complex, which is an unpleasant reality. Due to the difference in socio-economic status, the couple may also differ significantly in their spending behaviour for their food, dress, health care, travel and outing, and for their habit of socialisation. This difference in spending behaviour may be one among the few major source of conflict between the husband and wife of unequal socio-economic status. The marital adjustment and the associated problem become intensified if the couple belongs to different nationality, culture, religion and language and mother-tongue.
'Marriage takes place between two equally smart' a theory of marriage initiated by a noble laureate professor Garry S. Becker of Chicago University. Since marriage is a relation between a male and a female individual of two different families, the marital couples are expected to be of very similar in their following characteristics:
Personal Characteristics: Both couples are expected to be of polished and acceptable behaviour, sound mind and sound health. They should not be very dissimilar in physical appearance and in height. Marital partner will belong to the similar age cohort. Equal or similar status in education, training and professional interest is also expected. They would belong to jobs and businesses of similar status. Similar test and preference, common or similar interest and hobbies in them are also desirable.
Socio-Economic Characteristics: Marital couples are likely to be of equal socio-economic characteristics including equal financial status, non-financial economic status, socio-economic status, background, economic and family history.
Socio-Cultural and Political Characteristics: Husband and wife will belong to the very similar socio-culture and political status such as similar in language and mother tongue, good spoken language and in religious beliefs, political ethics, nationality and in overall culture. The relation between families of very conservative and very fast families will be a mis-match.
Smartness: Equally smart couples will enjoy their exchange of views, knowledge, perception and the conversation in general. Smart couples will also have a democratic attitude, adjustable and compromising behaviour.
When most of the above characteristics are in common between a male and a female and their families, marriage or relation through the occasion of marriage may well take place between them. That is the way it should be to have a good marriage, good life and happiness. all of which are expected to contribute to the formation of relatively good human capital, which would be conducive to the growth and development of a good society.
The writer is Vice-Chancellor, Uttara University