Toxic positivity

"How are you?" To this simple question, most people instinctively reply, "I'm fine." In reality, many are not. Nor is it possible to be fine all the time. Yet society, social media and the modern "motivational" culture often suggest that sadness, fear or frustration are signs of weakness. This forced insistence on constant happiness - the denial of natural negative emotions - is what psychologists call toxic positivity.
Positivity has its place. Optimism can inspire resilience and hope. But when positivity becomes detached from reality and imposed upon every emotional experience, it turns harmful. Toxic positivity is the belief that, no matter how painful the situation, one must always maintain a cheerful mindset. In doing so, it invalidates genuine human emotions such as grief, anger, disappointment and despair.
It becomes toxic when a grieving person is told, "Everything happens for the best," or when someone facing failure hears, "Just think positive." It appears in the pressure to smile through suffering and to post hashtags like #GoodVibesOnly while silently breaking inside. Such responses may seem harmless, but they send a powerful message: negative emotions are unacceptable.
The human mind is like the sky; it holds sunshine as well as clouds and storms. Toxic positivity demands that the storm be denied. When people tell themselves, "I shouldn't feel sad," or "Others have it worse," they suppress emotions rather than process them. Psychological research consistently shows that emotional suppression increases mental distress over time. Like steam trapped in a pressure cooker, unexpressed pain does not disappear; it accumulates.
Social media has become a major vehicle of this culture. Feeds are filled with curated happiness - travel, success and celebration - leaving little room for struggle. This illusion of perfect lives deepens feelings of inadequacy. When someone finally shares pain, they are often met with shallow reassurance instead of understanding. As a result, they may feel even more isolated.
Those who are distressed do not always need advice. Often, they need validation - the assurance that their pain is real and permissible. Mental well-being is not about constant cheerfulness; it is about emotional honesty. Psychologists describe this as emotional agility.
Moving beyond toxic positivity means embracing what Viktor Frankl called tragic optimism: acknowledging suffering while still seeking meaning. There is no shame in not being okay. Rain is part of life. And it is only after the rain that the sky truly clears.
Hena Sikder
Department of Philosophy
Jagannath University