When going gets tough for women in society

These days you will wonder how such atrocious events can occur in your city-the city you live in, a very familiar, 'glitzy', 'glamorous' metropolis where you get aromatic coffee in some posh, upscale cafes, where you can go with your Lancer, where material living standards have sky-rocketed over the last few decades. But when poverty and fiscal might co-exist with such a glaring contrast, you wonder whether the facade of social and economic tapestry is just a farce or a hoax-like illusion at times. Somewhere in the dark, dingy serpentine alley a child is born to ascend the throne of the next drug lord or the underworld don, renouncing his right to sit in a classroom and gape at calculus equations scribbled on the blackboard. Somewhere an extortionist or a rapist, a psychopath or a murderer gains an identity, and the very mention of their names will send shivers down your spine. They will smile innocently, lend you a shoulder when you need one, listen to all your plights with empathetic expressions and slowly, gradually will tighten their grip on you. They are like parasites, feeding on the despondent, helpless and powerless, until they start to exercise ownership rights on your soul and body. You are no longer you. You are a pawn in a deadly game of lust...
And then there are those who were born without a heart, without a conscience. Those overtly ogle when a woman walks past, whistle like intoxicated canines at the sight of flesh, whose libidinous stares are 10 times more penetrating and pervasive than X-rays. You endure them, muffle their salacious taunts by covering your ears, ignore their presence until the predators pounce on an unassuming you one day. Grope, molest, harass, assault...
They will encircle you like beasts corner their prey. You will scream, wail, plead and attempt to flee. Hordes of curious onlookers will surround you, impotent enough to not sway from their spots. And only then will you realise how sickeningly grotesque the world around you is...
How much more will we be degraded? How much more humiliation and atrocities will we have to endure until the society wakes up from its perpetual state of nonchalance and oblivion? How long do we have to wait until the long overdue justice is upheld?
For every young girl or woman who is raped, assaulted, violated these are the exact questions which hit my conscience.
The toxic tentacle of impunity that has pervaded our lives ensures that such unforgivable perpetrators can walk scot-free as the farcical 'rule of law' allows them to escape through the loopholes. Once in a blue moon a victim might just muster enough courage to speak up, to stand up for her marred identity and honour. The victim is victimised yet again, treated as a pariah, an untouchable.
Till January 2016 there had been 58 incidents of rape, with 22 of the victims belonging to the 13-18 age groups. These depressing statistics are not just mere figures, however. They are a horrendous depiction of the extent of vulnerability. It's not just about having to deal with sexism and patriarchy on a daily basis, but surviving in a society which grants unbridled impunity to perpetrators.
A recent incident that igniting much furore and outrage, involved a gruesome death of a young girl by the name of Tonu, whose decaying corpse was recovered from Comilla Cantonment, after being raped. Less than a year ago, young women were molested in broad daylight, amidst ongoing Pahela Baishakh (Bengali New Year) festivities at a public place. A few days back, an indigenous woman was abducted and raped in a microbus.
These are just 1.0 per cent of the crimes against womanhood. Thousands of incidents go unreported, thousands of victims are quelled. The shameful legacy continues to prevail.
Feminism sadly has not been able to shield 'femininity'. What began as a unified movement in the 19th century to bring woman irrespective of individual race, ethnicity, identity, socio-economic status and religion under the same umbrella of subordination, has disbanded over the ages. Although their goal to transcend stereotypes and incorporate women into the global economic fray was successful to some extent, gender-based wage disparity is yet to be eradicated. Yet, advocating solely for gender egalitarianism is considered one of the glaring flaws of the feminist movement as well as the fact that home-makers are not acknowledged for child rearing and slaving in the kitchen 24/7. Classifying them as 'domesticated, uneducated, weak and powerless', is just another weapon used by the dominant  West to discredit the 'The Third World' women, as renowned Asian feminist Chandra Talpade Mohanty opined. There are fundamental issues that feminism fails to recognise till today, one of the most vital being adopting a hard-line stance on legal reforms. Despite the enactment of the Domestic Violence (Prevention and Protection) Act (2010), little progress has been made when it comes to containing unabated harassment and molestation, which strongly calls for stringent and punitive legislative measures.
'If you ask me, I think the root cause of the problem is the sick mentality that a woman is to be blamed for the way she carries herself. It doesn't matter what she's wearing or how she presents herself-it does NOT give men the licence to behave inappropriately. Boys should be taught to respect girls/women from a young age, for what they truly are-their counterparts,' says Tanha, an undergraduate student of Dhaka University.
Shah Paran follows the same line of thought, 'It is absolutely wrong to define the relationship between men and women on a solely biological (sexual) basis. Our perceptions and perspectives need to be reconstructed, if we are looking for a long-term antidote for this venom'.
The question is: How long are we prepared to wait before a change is ushered in? How many of our sisters, mothers, daughters and wives are to endure the 'pain of femininity'? Because, we are no longer ready to pay the price of being a woman.
Lamia Mohsin is a BSS (hons) student of the Department of Development Studies
at the University of Dhaka.
Email: lamiamohsin95@yahoo.com