Violence against women and increased rate of divorce

Parvez Babul | Published: November 08, 2014 00:00:00 | Updated: November 30, 2024 06:01:00

Photo courtesy: stolaw.com

IN Bangladesh, the current increased rate of divorce by women to their husbands shows that their married lives are not as happy as they dreamt before their marriage! Recently, I have talked to some women of different ages, different professions of both rural and urban areas to know the reasons of their divorce. Basically, though the contexts are different, the stories of the divorcee women are similar! The divorcee women opined that marriage, at present, has been a nightmare instead of a dream for most of the women, even for highly educated women. Violence against women by the husbands and in-laws, husbands' dominating attitude, superiority complex, extra-marital affairs, cheating, impotency, drug addiction, lack of fellow feeling, conflict of personality, narrow mindedness, bossing mentality, availability of brides with dowry and other different reasons are factors responsible for divorce. Education, employment, awareness on their rights have given the women courage to protest and say 'No' to continuing complicated conjugal life and sack their 'disturbing' husbands. So, this is a good sign of women empowerment that at least they can enjoy the freedom of choice, the women realised. Â
Also there are some well-known factors, studies reveal, that put women at higher risk for divorce in first and second marriage which include marrying at a very early age, less education and income, living together before marriage, a premarital pregnancy, no religious affiliation, coming from a divorced family, and feelings of insecurity. The most common reasons women give for their divorce are violence against them, lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage and other causes.Â Â
Although divorce has always been a concern, it has become more common by women in the last 20 years. And it is at present, a historically high rate in Bangladesh. Dhaka City Corporation informed that only in Dhaka city 80 per cent of divorce petitions were filed by women/wives to divorce their husbands. And there are huge numbers of uncounted couples who as wives and husbands live separately, avoiding marital relationships; but did not submit divorce petitions. "Though normally women do not expect divorce or separation; and they try their best to run their families, in most cases situation demands. In some cases, divorce may not be a permanent solution, but at least 'relief' from disturbances and unwanted hazards", said Farhana Chowdhury (not her real name), a professor of Dhaka University, who divorced her husband a few months back.Â Â Â Â Â Â
Social scientists observed that some of these problems can be fixed and divorce prevented. When there is high commitment in a relationship, women feel safer and are willing to give more for the relationship to succeed.
In terms of violence against women, executive director of UN WOMEN Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, who served as Deputy President of South Africa also, very recently stressed through her message globally that violence against women can and must end by addressing its root cause - gender inequality--through shifting cultural mindsets. This includes, for instance, getting men to stand up on the issue. So, it is time to fulfil the promise to end violence against women.
The World Health Organization has declared violence against women to be a global health problem of epidemic proportions. In some conflicting situations, it may be more dangerous to be a girl or a woman than to be a soldier. Violence against women has become a real epidemic that must be stopped, Phumzile added with her boldness.
Nicole Kidman, UN WOMEN goodwill ambassador and Academy Award-winner, raises awareness to end violence against women sharing a recently-sent message worldwide. Here, she urges members of society to play their part in ending this scourge that affects one in three women and girls globally -- that is more than one billion lives destroyed by trauma and injury.
As UN WOMEN's Goodwill Ambassador, Nicole narrated, "I have spoken most on this issue. As an actress and activist, I can raise my voice and help raise awareness. As a neighbour and friend, I can intervene when I see abuse happening. As a mother, I can teach my children to value and respect themselves and others. I can teach them not to condone or accept discrimination and violence against women and girls. So play your part to end violence against women," Nicole urged. Â
Mr Kofi Annan, Chairperson of the Elders, a group of independent leaders of the world working together for peace and human rights, and former Secretary General of the United Nations, wrote an open letter to the Prime Minister of Bangladesh Sheikh Hasina recently. He mentioned very important issues in his letter about the problems of child marriage urging to maintain the minimum age of marriage for girls at 18 years of age. Kofi Annan wrote, "We were concerned, however, to learn that the Cabinet has recently approved language in the draft Child Marriage Restraint Act 2014 to lower the minimum age of marriage from 18 to 16 years for girls. Such a change in legislation would be a step in the wrong direction as it would undermine efforts to reduce poverty and improve the welfare of girls and women across Bangladesh. Bangladesh has made impressive progress in improving maternal and child health over the past decade, but this progress will be hindered if the proposal to reduce the age of marriage goes forward." Kofi Annan reminds the Prime Minister of a legislative issue very seriously.
In fact, rate of child marriage and violence against girls and women are increasing seriously in Bangladesh. It further leads to higher rates of divorce by wives, abandon by husbands or separation.
Media can question the government and help strict enforcement of the law, which institutions and people demand. Media plays a huge role in shaping opinions and, if properly presented, good journalism can help change perceptions of the entire community. The local, national, and international media should publish and air news stories to create awareness about the issues concerned. Â
We will have to keep in mind that violence against women and child marriage affect all; the victims, the perpetrators, the family members especially women and children, relatives, the society, and badly destroy the national and global achievements for paying huge economic costs. Therefore, let us stop violence against women, remove the causes of divorce and child marriage; stand by the neglected and helpless girls and women including the females with disabilities. We wish happy conjugal lives of all the adult women and men.
The writer is a media person and author of four books on women's empowerment, food security and climate change.
Email: parvezbabul@gmail.com