A satirical view

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Mahmudur Rahman
The stiff upper lip has given way through the decades but the British General elections continue to present a boring spectacle in many ways. As analysts tried to decipher the implications of what appears to be a hung parliament, the media scrambled around to try and find something that would make the sensational headlines that catch the imagination of the curious general public.
Everyone was talking about the voters and their mandate. No one seemed at all concerned by the exciting machinations of behind the scene bargaining with the trade unions, pressure groups and indeed big business-all of which are so integral parts to an election. None of the ambassadors of embassies were publicly involved in meeting Gordon Brown, James Cameron or Nick Klegg. As a result there was no midnight, breathtaking media disclosures either.
Volunteers were seen on camera rushing to ensure ballot boxes were quickly transported to the counting centres through human chains. There were no policemen in escort and no photographs for photo journalists. To cap it all there wasn't a single incident of a ballot box being hi-jacked or any box being "stuffed". How strange!
The voters who were turned away from polling centres without casting their votes didn't bring out a single procession jamming the roads. Unbelievably enough, not a single car was targeted as an outburst of indignation nor were any election booth or centre ransacked. And to think there were so many candidates of Bangali origin in the fray. How can this be?
Unimaginable too was the reaction of the party leaders to the results. No one rejected the results, especially not Nick Klegg who appeared to have got the better of Brown and Cameron in the TV debates. So instead of the fun-filled noisy demonstrations asking for the resignation of the election commission authorities, the hand-locked procession of lawyers heading for the courts to file writ petitions and a flurry of talk shows with opponent candidates going hammer and tongs at each other, we now have the rather yawn-inducing prospect of discussions between the leaders of the parties where they balance egoism, power-broking with the need to announce to the world that they can form a stable government to reassure the investors. And as for the media, there wasn't a single interview of the election authorities. How disappointing!
The banner producing organisations must have been wringing their hands and tearing out their hair in despair. It was just not fair.
And to cap it all the Queen of England apparently is not going to interfere in the process. She has the power to invite anyone to form a government but has evidently decided not to. Apparently she will follow the all too boring path of convention and wait for the politicians to work things out. How mundane!
(The writer is a former Head of Corporate & Regulatory Affairs of British American Tobacco Bangladesh, former Chief Executive Officer of Bangladesh Cricket Board and specializes in corporate affairs, communications and corporate social responsibility.)