Managing stress

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Mahmudur Rahman
Sweaty palms, a thump-thump of the heart, a tightness in the neck and shoulder muscles, a slight heaviness in breathing and a redness in the face. The tell-tale signs of stress are all too familiar. It sends negative signals and thoughts throughout the body and the immediate result is an inexplicable feeling of tiredness. There lies the dread of stress. The makeshift reactions are to stretch out for a cigarette, a cup of tea or coffee or a drink of water and wait for the symptoms to subside. Wrong idea!
Stress is a natural phenomenon and some of it is actually good in that it increases alertness and sharpens the mind. It's when there's too much stress that it becomes a problem. Too often, too many managers face this in a fast-moving world of demanding deadlines amid a cascade of demands on the personal self. From the moment managers set foot in office a sequence of events will inevitably succeed in sucking them into an abyss of a cobweb from where there is no extrication. And the problem lies "not in our stars but in ourselves" to quote from Shakespeare. In short, while life has its stresses, degrees and extent are increased by own volition.
A look at any resume from potential job candidates will reveal a list of items in the hobbies or extra-curricular activity section. And there will be a raft of items such as reading, listening to music and traveling. These used to be a way of judging whether the person concerned has a life beyond work. Nowadays it's just a section that needs to be filled in. Ask the same person a few months down the line about these activities and it draws a blank. Managers are so worried abut devoting fully to the job they either do not want to admit they have enough free time to do the things they stated they enjoy or truthfully just don't have time to do them anymore. That's when its time to worry.
A former colleague had once remarked on the negativity of the annual appraisal process. As he put it "it should be about what has been achieved, not what hasn't". The suggestion was to "think positive" about self, job and others. Nothing has ever been achieved through negativity except to blow off steam. It is a no no simply because it leads to low self-esteem. And it is just as important to be tender not strict with the self. Some of the best managers will always balance work and life including taking time off for some form of physical activity. Beethoven's best work emerged during some very long walks rain or shine.
Not many are aware that communication itself can raise stress levels. The trick is to ensure supportive, caring and honest communication all delivered with assertion but not aggression. Moreover, the more information is shared, the lesser the load of pent-up issues. Personal concerns do not disappear if shared with friends and family but this sharing helps to reduce the intensity of disappointments. For instance a family bereavement is far more intense in the immediacy than it is with the passage of time because of the outpouring of emotions.
On a personal level forget the small stuff. It just is not worth the anger, frustration and certainly not worth dying for. Go by the gut and be decisive in addressing familiar and basic concerns of living. Second guessing doesn't help. Wrapped up as we are in the world we often forget the therapeutic power of rejoicing in the simple pleasures, in particular the senses of taste, smell, touch and humor. Most importantly, time must be given to those personal matters that we treasure the most. Self denial may be bad but denying the self is worse.
So the next time one walks into the office and a colleague confronts with an issue one needs to be careful not to take on an additional burden. If you fall in to that trap, the person concerned will have lightened his load. Ensure that someone else's monkey doesn't land up on your back. (The writer is a former head of corporate and regulatory affairs of British-American Tobacco Bangladesh and former CEO of Bangladesh Cricket Board. He can be reached at mahmudrahman@gmail.com)