The bereaved son: Ridad\\\'s safe world has been shattered

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Zeenat Khan from Maryland, USA | Published: November 04, 2015 00:00:00 | Updated: November 30, 2024 06:01:00

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For those of us who are living abroad - any horrific news back home in Bangladesh distress us as much, and in some instances more so than others who are living there. This assumption is, of course, based on my personal experience. When a tragedy strikes the nation, we feel helpless from afar, guilty for living overseas -and sometimes an overwhelming gloom takes over. We are never very sure what it is exactly we are feeling nor do we know how to reach out to others who are living through such shocking happenings. Our senses become muted; every word that comes out of our mouth is muffled and laced with utter frustration.
This past Friday afternoon, we were driving to the Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. We never thought Dhaka will again be terrorised by the zealots so soon. Passing through the pristine part of the Blue Ridge Mountains to see the autumn colours, my mood was cheerful. We drove through scenic Virginia as the colour green continued to fade from the landscape along the mountains. Both sides of the mountainous road were lined with Chestnut, Red Oak, Hemlocks, Spruce, Dogwood and the Evergreens. The breathtaking views of beautiful shades of gold, pumpkin, auburn, yellow and orange were in perfect synchronisation, suited for the autumn season.
A few years back, at a cottage in the wilderness, there was no television, internet or cellular phone reception. Times have changed now with innovative technology. I promised myself I wasn't going to go on the internet for two entire days in order to enjoy the getaway. Sadly, I couldn't prevail.
Early Saturday morning, I read about the gruesome murder of Dipan, who ran Jagriti Prokashoni and three others who also had faced hacking attacks. The ghastly news ran a chill down my spine. It is God's miracle that three of them are alive, although Rahim is in critical condition, and recovering from grave injuries at the hospital. My mood became very subdued and my mind drifted off to a news piece about Dipan's brave young son, Ridad.
I was at a loss for words reading about this boy's bravery in the midst of such an unfortunate, untimely and ill-fated death of his father. Seeing the topee-wearing photo of this class eight student at the Namaj-e-Janaza of his deceased father, broke my heart. What was going through his mind as he was saying goodbye to his father? He had asked everyone gathered there to pray for his father. It is hard to understand from the bewildered expression on his face, what his thoughts were at those moments. He looked a little confused since he had to come straight from the examination hall to the funeral service.
Ridad, as a student of Udayan High School, has started to take his Junior School Certificate examination, a day after his father's death. It was simply mind-boggling to learn that after hearing about his father's demise on Saturday evening, Ridad was in his room preparing for his next day's exam. I am very aware of the fact that in the midst of a tragedy, life has to go on. And it is important to maintain normal activities at home - but not on the same day when his father was hacked to death in his office!
At a tender age of 13, a young boy lost his father, not because of natural causes. He became a victim of others' hate for running a publishing company that had published books written by the deceased blogger, Avijit Roy. Roy was also hacked to death this past February by assailants for his secular thoughts.
Ridad is old enough to understand what death is, and the finality of it. By now he can see that it was not some horrible mistake! He can see all the adults around him who are acting different than before; he understands everything that is being said.
I am stupefied in attempting to wrap my mind around the news report as to why Ridad was not allowed to mourn his father as he should. How was he able to study for an examination the next day, when numerous mourners rushed into his house to console his grief-stricken mother in the drawing room? He should have been included in the grieving process.
With his father's tragic death, Ridad's safe world has been shattered; it surely has shaken the foundations of his core. Now, he has to face this insurmountable loss, and the reality that his father is no more. At this age, a youngster doesn't necessarily have the tools to verbalise what he is feeling and thinking. At a time when his security, safety and his father's presence have been replaced by endless fear, insecurity, uncertainties and many unanswered questions - how can he take school examinations?  
Even in case of a natural death, to understand the death of a single parent takes years. In the absence of a parent, a child goes through mental traumas and emotional changes. In Ridad's case, the horrific method that was used to kill his father must have frightened him very much, and the horrible vividness of this experience will impact his life in a profound way from this point on.
Most likely, his mother will become his emotional support, as he will go through a multitude of different emotions in learning to adjust to a life without his dad. The mother now will have to find a way to provide a stable environment for her two children. As a surviving parent, she has to make sure that her boys do not develop identity problem, they do not rebel against anyone, do not fight at school and feel hurt by condescending remarks by others. She has to be responsible that her kids do not feel isolated, angry, and do not suffer from depression.
From the photos that were published in the Bangladesh media, it was evident that Ridad has a loving extended family around him. I am sure the family will help him cope with his pain and sorrow. Ridad's innocuous world has been crushed after this enormous loss and his mother now has this added obligation to make sure that he can return to his normal round of activities, as he goes through the feelings of fear, anxiety and panic. It will be an enormous undertaking for her to be both a mother and father to her two sons.
The fanatics, who perpetrated such a horrific act, perhaps didn't even give it a moment's thought that Dipan's wife will have to raise her two sons without a father. They hunted him down, and then killed him in cold blood because they had a point to prove. As a result, a family is devastated, two boys have become fatherless and the entire nation is in shock once more. With these latest attacks, it is quite evident that such brutal murders are increasing with awful rapidity and no one knows when this terror will end.
zeenat.khan1983@gmail.com